» Fri Jun 22, 2012 3:42 pm
May as well say something. I have a ton of issues with loud noises due to having a hypersensity in the ears. I was once thought to have a hearing disorder that makes the hearing very good, but it was just hearing that was so good due to my IQ being high enough to be considered sorta gifted. I'm pretty much special needs, and my earlier posts on this make that obvious. The Bethesda games, especially Daggerfall, happen to be very good for me due to them being so easy to play another life in.
I have to have things at low volumes, but can't have the volume be low enough to sound like whispering or background noise. It makes me angry if I hear things at a volume that is too low. It also angers me if the volume is even the slightest bit higher than usual.
I was very tired last night so I had trouble being more specific. The Bethesda RPGs typically are almost like their own worlds for me to plunder in. Live in. Explore. I could go on. I even have written a paper on how role playing has done so much good for me. I'm the kind of person who needs constant stimulation, as well. Maybe not constant, but I always have to have something to do. With open world RPGs and stuff like Vampire the Masquerade, I can have tons to do without needing to constantly shuffle stuff around my room.
I usually play as a thief in most of the Bethesda RPGs for some reason. It isn't the thrill of it, and I don't dream of stealing. I just love playing something that lives on the edge and would gladly beat up the guards. In Fallout games, I'm much nicer. I feel like the wasteland in those has enough jerks, which means I should be nice and help. I know many wouldn't feel like that, but I do.
With TES games, I feel more inclined to make jerks and not very nice people. My RP character Gutslit is more of a thief who only got there out of need.
That aside, my Asperger's was diagnosed around my mid teen years. I'm 17 now, and got into TES around the age of 15 or 16. I have had better luck with making friends, mainly because I have some odd thing about myself that makes those with tons of issues want to be my friend. Not complaining about that one bit, just how most of my friends were made once I got out of only hanging around people that my friends hanged out with.
I don't really like socializing more because I'm extremely prone to long winded rants, raves, and speeches about things that the other person probably doesn't care about. Just about everyone at the school I went to before I had to be virtual schooled due to anxiety problems knew me as that girl who is a huge gamer. I often end up only speaking of gaming despite having other interests. I'm honestly a bit embaressed by my need to talk about gaming so much.
I tend to have troubles speaking about my other interests for some reason. I find myself not really lonely. Just feel isolated due to my near lack of knowing how a spoken conversation works. I end up taking over conversations, in fact. Very annoying.
Psychologists actually have saved me from many depressions. They have helped me figure out more about myself, and they have been very kind to me. I can see how they can be seen as evil due to many having the tendency to not be as careful with choosing what medications are best for their patients, but just as many people in this field are very kind, patient, and helpful humans who really care for their patients and want them to have a better quality life. I have had some bad experiences with psychologists as a child, but that was in the 90's when ADHD was often confused with being the kind of person who has an extra chromosome. I was once diagnosed with such a thing because I failed a visual aid type of test despite it just turning out that the doctor was a jerk who hated me after five minutes.
I've been helped a ton by modern psychology. I even want to study it and if I never become a computer or game programmer, I want to help further knowledge of mental disorders and the like. I want to help others have a better life or be happy.
