Hello everybody I am Nikolai a player greatly engrossed in Bethesda's games.
I have been contemplating a post similar to this for weeks. My life is very different then most, I have Tourettes and Asperger's Syndrome making socializing hard for me and I am extremely intelligent.

The detail and compelling content of these games has greatly helped my imagination flourish and expand as well as my knowledge. When I did not understand many words used I would look them up and practice the meanings so I understand better. I played Oblivion maybe when I was 10-11 and by all means I am not just some child, pre-pubascent and immature. I hit puberty early and matured fast and these games are a large part of my life and happiness.
I see things in a much different way than others and these games alone have inspired me to attempt game design when I reach being able to receive a college education. I am currently fourteen years of age and I hope that will not have me banned from these forums.
For over a year I have wished to meet Todd Howard and the developers here at Bethesda Game Studios and I always I wonder if it is possible. Some people want to meet movie stars and musicians and I want to meet a game designer that inspires me.
This post may seem quite irrelevant and pointless but this is something I just need to say, to see what happens, and let my thoughts flow through the keyboard.

I could have made this much more developed and sensible if I took much more time to write this, but I fear I will forget to post it like I have for the past few weeks. I may edit this if it is not closed...


If you view this Todd, i would like to tell you:
Tears started up in me when I thought of making this type of post.. My life has been hard and I just wonder if there would even be a job opening at your studio in some years, and if you are still in this job then.
I noticed you went to a Highschool in Pennsylvania called Emmaus, or so wiki told me. I live in Philadelphia and it made me feel there was something in common. I also read you applied for a job at Bethesda while still in college and they declined you and now you are one of the biggest parts of the team. It was ironic in a way.


/endpost
i hope somebody in BGS sees.....

I guess this could be some proof of not being childish in form:
[img]http://ttgdime.com/dimegrab/images/7fc55f.png[/img]


EDIT: I also help many people new to the series on a tech forum in the Elderscroll section which I greatly enjoy and even though it does not benefit me I own many copies of the same BGS game. 2 Fallout 3's on the xbox 360, 2 Oblivion's, xbox as well, and 1 Skyrim.
I obtained the second Fallout 3 when I traded in Call of Duty Black Ops and I did not know another game to get so I got another Fallout 3 except GOTY.

I also have Aspergers. And ADHD. And OCD. And a severe anxiety disorder. Beth's games and gaming in general is a huge part of my life. The Bethesda games are the ones that always calm me. And make me happy.

I like that the games make other people happy. Even if I am just a fan of the company. Also, hello to you. Have a fishy stick!

[img]http://www.imperial-library.info/sites/default/files/dogate_til_fishystick.jpg[/img]

i understand the feeling and I wondered if I was the only one. I did not mention all of my problems just those that caused many ordeals. i could be conisdered OCD but it mainly is with numbers.
Example: in car radio on. Sound at 17 annoys me and needs to be "even or a number that looks nice". 22 does not look good to me and 25 is excellent for some odd reason. Like I said I am odd.

I heard that if you go to Bethesda studios and ask for a tour of the offices they might let you in.

Got to say I exhibit a lot of these symptoms as well, probably do have OCD and Asperghers (I hate socialising and could easily go weeks without human contact).

I began playing Oblivion at around the age of 15, it was the first game I sat playing until 3 and 4 in the morning. I played it constantly, must have logged well over 1,000 hours on it in total.

Skyrim is the same. There's no other games around that I've got so much playtime out of, there just incredible.

I do that with the volume on my TV. Has to be on an even number usually, although numbers ending in 5 are alright.

I live in Philadelphia and is not the main office in Maryland Rockwell?
Although a maybe does not work for me.... I would have to email BGS and see about arranging it so it is not a maybe and a confirmed tour and maybe a 5 day chat session with Todd.

EDIT: For the post about not caring for human contact for weeks. That would not fall under Asperger's not sure what though if there is a classification for it.
I want friends and would love to socialize but I just can't, i cannot pick it up all the trends and things to say. I love meeting people like me, engrossed in these types of games and loving history but the love for these games is enough.

Pretty sure the disorder for not wanting human contact is Scizoid Personality Disorder. Though, there's obsviously others. I try to socialize if I feel like it, but I'm a grouch half the time due to lack of sleep. Yay! I usually end up getting too hyper anyways. And I think we should leave this to the private messages. This is the forum specifically for general Skyrim chat.

Yeah probably that's what I have then, I agree, no point taking the thread off topic..

Isn't it avoidant personality disorder ? Honestly the amount of personality disorders I tick the boxes for is endless.

I am glad that you people in here have found a way to cope. That in itself is a wonderful thing and I am glad you can get some peace of mind and fun from playing one of these games.

Sadly, Bethesda games have ruined mine. I spend so much time lost in Tamriel that I often neglect my real life needs, such as spending time with my boyfriend, feeding my cat, calling family names, homework, and many other things.

Yeah they're fantastic, they give me a realistic world to enjoy and interact with, which I don't enjoy doing with the one I exist in.

Just get yourself a husband in Skyrim. You can't get a cat but you can get a pet dog, which luckily you don't need to feed.

Yep. A world where I can play as tons of things. That is a good thing! Even if I spend too many hours gaming. Oh well. You can get a cat in Skyrim. Just adopt yourself one us cute, possibly deadly, possibly sugar high Khajiit. We don't want slave labor, though.

Bloodshot eyes are the only downside for me.

The Fallout series is my favorite and it is only Fallout 3. The storyline was just perfect for my mind and explaining it would take hours. <3

I am glad you have something to interact with and any ES game is a great sandbox experience open to several possibilities and it certainly does have good escapist qualities.

Already done. none can resist my feminine wiles.

Totally. Fallout as well.

The world of ES and it's lore is what really soothes me though. It's amazing and so deep. They even have conflicting views with different books, such as the different accounts of Barenziahs life and the arguments over certain magicka schools in others. It feels so alive.


I've spent hours in it just reading books many a time.

There certainly is a lot to do in any ES game, there is tons of possibilities.

Very true indeed.

We all have dreams. I wish the best of luck to you to one day possibly meeting the Bethesda developers and Todd Howard!

Apparently I was never born with any mental disorders, but that Volume thing with the TV always gets me, it always has to be a 5 or a 0 or I get annoyed.

I do have a physical condition though. I've been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes since I was 5 years old, and this game really makes me forget to eat food and treat myself sometimes.

PS: Don't worry about posting here anyway about some sort of off-topic stuff, any Moderator who closes this thread would be one cruel and unlikeable mod.


EDIT: I'm going to e-mail this to Todd, if anybody else would, he will probably take a look at this.

I do the EXACT... SAME... THING...

I think I am very OCD.


http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff52/nell2thaizzay/RobertDowneyJr_tropic-thunder.jpg


Agreed, I think it's a very interesting subject, and I don't see any reason why it would be or should be closed. It is still Skyrim related. I don't even really know what Asperger's is, I know only a very tiny bit about it, but it's interesting to see how a game can make someone cope with that.

Very interesting story. I guess to some extent we all share a lack of socializing skills. Beth games are so expansive and have so much to do that hours upon hours are stolen from us every day. I guess there is nothing wrong with that as these games are so much fun. Lol. I am playing Skyrim, Fallout NV, COD, Halo, Saints Row, Poker, GTA, Red Dead and Max Payne. My whole week is completely full. RL with have to wait until Xmas.

Once again I am sorry, I did not mean it in a harmful way to anybody that has any condition, I meant "you people" as at the time I wrote the post there was two people talking about how the game helps them and distracts them. Maybe I should have said you two but instead I put you people, sometimes I just say or write things different than what I mean.

To elaborate on things, there is something wrong with everybody on this planet in one way or another there is no such thing as normal, I have a touch oh OCD I know where I put everything and things have to be a certain way or I go crazy and I stare at something until I get up and fix it if I feel its out of place, and so on that it was problem I have more I could say about myself but I will leave it at that.

I am glad that Bethesda games give something to do to those that need or want the distraction.