Yes, another girl problem. : Othor Games

» Fri May 27, 2011 7:17 pm

Get with the times man. Facebook == Face-to-face. I mean, you got their face right their in their profile, duh.

:rofl:

Someone should put this in their signature.

» Sat May 28, 2011 7:06 am

I've got to disagree with you on the point that the letter was weak. The letter wasn't weak, simply polite and courteous. But maybe the OP should look at maybe establishing face-to-face contact.

I've got to disagree with you entirely. He looks weak sending that, and I bet that's why the relationship didn't work out. You moved too fast, dude.

» Sat May 28, 2011 12:08 am

Get with the times man. Facebook == Face-to-face. I mean, you got their face right their in their profile, duh.

Yeah dude.
And if you see on Facebook, [insert name here] is in a relationship. It's official.

» Fri May 27, 2011 10:52 pm

I've got to disagree with you entirely. He looks weak sending that, and I bet that's why the relationship didn't work out. You moved too fast, dude.

Not all men act like [censored]s when girls are involved, nor should they have to. Let's keep insults to a minimum, though the odds of this topic going any further are slim at this rate.

» Sat May 28, 2011 2:46 am

Not all men act like [censored]s when girls are involved, nor should they have to. Let's keep insults to a minimum, though the odds of this topic going any further are slim at this rate.

Being assertive about what you want and what you think is not being a [censored], and I'm not saying he HAD to be more assertive. He had the choose to do whatever he wanted, and he made his choice. I just disagree that it was the best course of action.

» Sat May 28, 2011 3:00 am

I haven't read this thread, but here we go:

First off, why are you having six with her without asking her out if she isn't just a friend with benefits. If you wanted her to stick around, why not take her off the market? It's not her job to ask you out, she was waiting around for you to make your move, and you didn't. Now she doesn't trust you, she thinks you're lying just so yall can fool around.

That message makes you sound like a bitch, I can't believe you sent that. You should've gotten mad, pissed off, instead of laying down and taking it. If she really means something to you and she's worth fighting for, then fight, don't whine and try to be sappy.

You should find a way to sit down and talk to her, face to face, and don't be a girl about it when you do, but she may be gone by now.

Oh, and svck it up man, you've been hanging out a week....jeez.

Whoa! There's some tough love heh. I did get mad...I just tried to keep my angry thoughts to myself..I didn't want to attack her and push he away, after all like you said, it had only been a week...if I had flew off the handle at her she'd be gone for good...which...I mean basically is what happened lol....so different strokes I guess

. I'm svcking it up...maybe I'm just a bit of a mushball lol...I can't be one of them hardened warrior daters that can just toss someone aside...I have too much heart for that.

That is sure not how we did it in my heyday. We dated and unless we were "going steady" we dated around. We might go out with Bill on Fri. night and Bob on Sat. night then someone else on Sunday afternoon. Guys called the girls, asked them on a date and the girl could say yes or no. We then went to the movies or out to dinner or to a game and then went home. Maybe a goodnight kiss. Nothing else. Nobody assumed they had any dibs on anyone unless you started going on dates with the same fellow repeatedly and that would usually end up with the gal wearing the guys class ring (filled with wax to fit) and the guy would wear the gals class ring on his pinky. This generally meant something more serious but six was generally not part of any of it.

I liked that. It gave us a chance to get to know each other and sort of shop around for a good personality to fit our own. I am sorry for folks who now think they must stay true to someone they went to a movie with once. :shrug:

Whoa...what era are we talking about!? Just kidding

. That's an interesting concept that I haven't really thought much about. Usually if I'm interested in a woman and am pursuing that interest I'm not also dating other women...It just feels...Wrong to me I suppose. Like "Oh yea I'm definitely into you...and her....oh and her..." I dunno...maybe I'm just reeeeeeal old fashioned...like...1950's style

That's trying to put a claim on a person. You can't do that, unless they agree to it -- not implicitly, because you took them out once, but explicitly, because you asked for an exclusive relationship and she agreed.

Even then, either party is free to break it off for any reason, even a bad reason, or no reason at all, and the other party has only the option of getting over it. If you want binding, that comes only with a promise to marry and an exchange of gifts.

Hmmm...I guess I should have let her know that I wanted to be "dating". I was just afraid of saying something like "Hey...so I think we should be...together you know...like dating" and having her get all freaked out because it had been such a short time, ya know?

Yeah, seriously. Why the [censored] are you having six with her if you haven't even asked her out yet? I'm sorry, but that just makes you sound like a player.

I dunno man...people do stupid stuff sometimes lol. Hindsight is 20/20...and to be fair it wasn't "Me having six with her" it was "Us having six". As in, she wanted to do it as much as I did...I like to think I'm not a player, whatever that even means lol.

All's fair in love and war. So declare war for love and that's double the 'everything is fair'.

Haha this makes me think of that song "Love is a battlefield" or w/e from the 80's. I certainly felt like someone had put a grenade in my chest when I first read the message she sent me hehe...

Thanks for your replies guys, it's keeping my mind busy.

» Fri May 27, 2011 11:01 pm

Being assertive about what you want and what you think is not being a [censored], and I'm not saying he HAD to be more assertive. He had the choose to do whatever he wanted, and he made his choice. I just disagree that it was the best course of action.

Nobody knows what the best course of action was because nobody, even him, knows what was going through that girl's head. Basically, assumptions are being made, he was even called a wimp in several posts, and it's really getting on my nerves. We may live in a harsh [censored] world, but that doesn't mean everybody has to harden up and desensitize themselves. I myself am sensitive about a lot of things, yet I've found a wonderful girl I'll be spending the rest of my life with. It's not about altering one's personality, it's about finding the right person.

Edit: And I'm not just talking to you, but to everyone in the topic who's been saying to "Man up" and calling him "Weak", so excuse me if there are some inconsistencies in my response to you.

» Fri May 27, 2011 10:40 pm

Yeah dude.
And if you see on Facebook, [insert name here] is in a relationship. It's official.

BRB, I'm just logging on to Facebook to announce our relationship. Hey, it's official, right?

» Sat May 28, 2011 1:24 am

Whoa...what era are we talking about!? Just kidding

. That's an interesting concept that I haven't really thought much about. Usually if I'm interested in a woman and am pursuing that interest I'm not also dating other women...It just feels...Wrong to me I suppose. Like "Oh yea I'm definitely into you...and her....oh and her..." I dunno...maybe I'm just reeeeeeal old fashioned...like...1950's style

http://dating.lovetoknow.com/Dating_Rules

» Fri May 27, 2011 10:22 pm

Ok... I just gotta ask.

Is she hot?

No seriously.

» Sat May 28, 2011 5:43 am

http://dating.lovetoknow.com/Dating_Rules

I think getting drunk on a date is bad idea.

I dont know why.. but I dont think just because you been on a date, or agreed to go out on a date there is a exclusive relationship. Gotta make sure both of you understand its exclusive in order for it to be exclusive. Geeting drunk on a date with an already boyfriend/girlfriend is another story.

» Fri May 27, 2011 9:56 pm

This is something I've never got. To me, if I ask a girl out, it's exclusive from that point on, unless explicitly stated otherwise. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but that's the way it should be to me.

I'd known him for a few years before, I was involved with other men, was single, was involved with other men, was single. The last time I was single I was really enjoying myself. Heeeheee. Anyway, we'd met on an elevator, we saw each other at parties mutual friends threw. So while we weren't intimately involved, we did know a bit about each other, an advantage. He'd been asking me out for a while, and I wasn't ready. He'd also dated other women as well. Either I was dating someone else or enjoying myself immensely. Sometimes the timing just needs to be right.
We still have lunch dates where we do nothing but talk, about anything but kids, work, or relatives.

» Sat May 28, 2011 7:50 am

@Monkey: She is indeed my friend, She is indeed.

@Bio: Haha yea, probably not the best idea. Unless it's a reaaaaaaally bad date eh?

@Mag: There's probably a little backstory I should have given in the first post. I'm usually not a very social person, I basically work and hang out with my friends once in a while. I don't really go to bars often or party much, I actually haven't dated a person that I haven't already known or met at work since highschool lol, that's how often I meet new people. Last august my gf of 6 years left me for greener pastures. Actually we had alot of problems and some infidelity, so we had both known it was coming. I'm really not good at meeting girls, and I was going way out of my comfort zone going to meet her, since we hadn't even seen each other in person. This whole situation has me convinced that it really is dangerous business walking out your front door...

» Sat May 28, 2011 9:53 am

@Monkey: She is indeed my friend, She is indeed.

@Bio: Haha yea, probably not the best idea. Unless it's a reaaaaaaally bad date eh?

Yeah. I guess if the date is already bad and your not feeling it, whynot? But then, how would the other person feel.

You guys ever watch Blind Date? That show is jokes.

» Sat May 28, 2011 3:34 am

@Monkey: She is indeed my friend, She is indeed.

@Bio: Haha yea, probably not the best idea. Unless it's a reaaaaaaally bad date eh?

@Mag: There's probably a little backstory I should have given in the first post. I'm usually not a very social person, I basically work and hang out with my friends once in a while. I don't really go to bars often or party much, I actually haven't dated a person that I haven't already known or met at work since highschool lol, that's how often I meet new people. Last august my gf of 6 years left me for greener pastures. Actually we had alot of problems and some infidelity, so we had both known it was coming. I'm really not good at meeting girls, and I was going way out of my comfort zone going to meet her, since we hadn't even seen each other in person. This whole situation has me convinced that it really is dangerous business walking out your front door...

Don't give up on meeting people, do things you enjoy, have fun being you. Sooner or later the timing is right.

» Fri May 27, 2011 8:41 pm

Hmmm...I guess I should have let her know that I wanted to be "dating". I was just afraid of saying something like "Hey...so I think we should be...together you know...like dating" and having her get all freaked out because it had been such a short time, ya know?

*scratches head* Uh... I thought dating came before six? Why should she be totally chill about being so intimate, but freak out at the prospect of being friends-that-display-romantic-affection?

Clearly, I must be living on a different planet. And yet, I still don't have a flying car.

» Sat May 28, 2011 5:25 am

I just have a general suggestion for the OP

Don't dwell on it.....just move on and live some. I mean you're 21, right? Play your guitar and drums, go hang out with friends, date some girls. I wouldn't worry too much about finding the perfect partner yet...unless it happens and it seems obvious....otherwise just live a little.

My belief is that wisdom from experience doesn't start hitting til you're about 25 or 26. When I look back, that's the age I felt I started to truly "get it".

So just don't dwell too much on things for now....just take it as it comes.

» Sat May 28, 2011 4:12 am

...
I'm really not good at meeting girls, and I was going way out of my comfort zone going to meet her, since we hadn't even seen each other in person. This whole situation has me convinced that it really is dangerous business walking out your front door...

As Mamagato said - don't give up on meeting people. But the bigger danger is NOT walking out your front door. Yeah, it svcks to get hurt or dumped or rejected - but remember - it happens to anyone who is actually living their life.

And the trade off is that you do meet great people and find someone to love, and good friends.

» Sat May 28, 2011 9:13 am

@Monkey: She is indeed my friend, She is indeed.

@Bio: Haha yea, probably not the best idea. Unless it's a reaaaaaaally bad date eh?

@Mag: There's probably a little backstory I should have given in the first post. I'm usually not a very social person, I basically work and hang out with my friends once in a while. I don't really go to bars often or party much, I actually haven't dated a person that I haven't already known or met at work since highschool lol, that's how often I meet new people. Last august my gf of 6 years left me for greener pastures. Actually we had alot of problems and some infidelity, so we had both known it was coming. I'm really not good at meeting girls, and I was going way out of my comfort zone going to meet her, since we hadn't even seen each other in person. This whole situation has me convinced that it really is dangerous business walking out your front door...

You dont have to go to bars, clubs or parties to be social or be a social person.

*scratches head* Uh... I thought dating came before six? Why should she be totally chill about being so intimate, but freak out at the prospect of being friends-that-display-romantic-affection?

Clearly, I must be living on a different planet. And yet, I still don't have a flying car.

There are no rules that dating comes before any intimate activities. There are plenty of people who want no strings attached relationship(s)/partner(s)

Social norms can become out of date pretty fast.

Shouldnt be surprised at things that happen in life.

» Fri May 27, 2011 6:55 pm

Why should she be totally chill about being so intimate, but freak out at the prospect of being friends-that-display-romantic-affection?

Love =/= six. six doesnt have to have an emotional connection, but that friends with affection thing does.

» Fri May 27, 2011 6:08 pm

Love =/= six. six doesnt have to have an emotional connection, but that friends with affection thing does.

six does have an emotional connection. It's just that society as a whole has become very adept at ignoring it.

» Fri May 27, 2011 10:01 pm

Don't give up on meeting people, do things you enjoy, have fun being you. Sooner or later the timing is right.

Everyone keeps telling me that. By that logic, I'll be 50 before I even get my first date...

But the bigger danger is NOT walking out your front door. Yeah, it svcks to get hurt or dumped or rejected - but remember - it happens to anyone who is actually living their life.

Yeah, well, being dumped or rejected has apparently happened a heckuva lot more to me than it has to everyone else I know. Even when I do try to walk out my front door, all the girls (at least the ones who live close to me anyhow) just automatically label me a creep without even giving me a chance. It's just disgusting that girls make negative snap judgments about me without giving me a chance, and the ones that seem to be the most friendly with me live so far away where they're pretty much physically unreachable without having the money and means to travel or relocate in order to meet them in person

Tim (aka the Slipperman)

» Sat May 28, 2011 6:01 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_SI2EDM6Lo&feature=fvsr

<3 this song.

six does have an emotional connection. It's just that society as a whole has become very adept at ignoring it.

There are no rules or ways of going about it.. it just is what it is. emotional or not, and whatever else.

Everyone keeps telling me that. By that logic, I'll be 50 before I even get my first date...

Yeah, well, being dumped or rejected has apparently happened a heckuva lot more to me than it has to everyone else I know. Even when I do try to walk out my front door, all the girls (at least the ones who live close to me anyhow) just automatically label me a creep without even giving me a chance. It's just disgusting that girls make negative snap judgments about me without giving me a chance, and the ones that seem to be the most friendly with me live so far away where they're pretty much physically unreachable without having the money and means to travel or relocate in order to meet them in person

Tim (aka the Slipperman)

You should hang out with people who likes talking with/ fliting / mess with females. You can meet em that way. Can build your confidence up.

» Sat May 28, 2011 9:18 am

There having been no constructive comment after the above in more than two days, this thread seems to have outlived its need. Posts deleted and thread over.