It is a fandamntastic story, but the journal style is a pro and a con. It makes it interesting and real, but he wouldn't really be writing during a totally awesome gunfight for The Castle Aaaaaaaghh would he?
One style should be stuck with, though.

OMG you are my hero for bringing in a Monty Python quote (which even more amazingly is perfectly relevant). Just saying :hugs:
It would be nice if we could figure out how to keep the same intensity of the running dialogue with the past-tense style somehow.
And as for ending it, personally I think it would be really cool if he ended up dying (yes, I am a bit morbid). Obviously if he dies, he cannot write in his journal, but perhaps his son could? Something like that.

That would be cool, we could start a new story with his son, we would already know his background story.

Day 73

I think I may be starting to rely on these security guys a little too much. We got off the boat to the founder's side of the island, and found another assault on that side. This is crazy! We had gotten off the boat without haste. They told me they would clear the streets and for me to stay behind this building, and and that they would protect me since I was injured. I heard a lot of gunfire, I didn't even bother to look around the corner. Until I heard one of the security yell "Man down! Man down!" I had one clip for the SMG left. I looked around the corner to see one of the officers in a last stand against a wall with a pistol out. One of the members of the resistance aimed his gun at the downed officer. I shot him. I missed most of the time, but I got him. I was out of ammo. I heard something over an officer's radio, *chzzt* "He got a G.L.! GET DOWN!" *chzzt* and then an explosion. All of the sudden I heard a...sort of whistling. I saw a small black container hit the ground about 12 feet away. It exploded. Shell shocked from it, I staggered to my feet to see a hole blown into a house right next to me. I could barley make it out but I thought I saw two dead civilians. I don't remember much after that, except being hit on the back of my head. I also remember seeing a very large man, dragging me somewhere holding a pump action shotgun, and shooting it at other soldiers, and then re-pumping it with one hand. I didn't know who it was but I could have swore it was Ivan. I blacked out.

Right. I feel like an idiot for not thinking of him.

Lets get it all summarized: Are character now known as "The Mummy" came to the Ark with is his 13 year old son Jack and his 11 year old Daughter Rebecca, upon arriving to the ark his daughter Rebecca gets an infected cut and goes to the nearby hospital. meeting Ivan, a Resistance faction Leader "The Mummy" finds work building MG nests for the Resistance. he was not part of the Resistance just helping them out to provide for his family, After some encounters with a Security agent called "the Bug" he moves over the Security faction of the Ark and He is working for the Security making armor. He is recieving many more rations and is happy. He then meets theteacher named Brittany and is now in a relationship with her. The Mummy is practicing shooting and also parkour. He has not joined a side yet. After being captured he is rescued by The Look.

EDIT: this post will be edited as i review the thread.

Actually, I stated a while ago that this IS NOT my story. I do not get to make any big choices in the story (well, actually...), this is for the forums to read/write and enjoy. Hell, you could end it all in the next post and I'd simply think that you were just contributing to the story, cause I know someone will do something like have another character pick up the journal and write another entry. In fact it doesn't need to even be someone related to "The Mummy", also I guess I should've let someone else pick the archetype name. :thumbsup:

Also, feel free to make your own decisions for the story. End it if you must, but there may be plot holes we may have skipped over.


Day 74

I can't really think straight right now, my heart is racing, my vision is still blurred, and I've thrown up several times. I'm constantly questioning if I'm gonna die or not, until I heard a familiar voice "Hello neighbour", it was Ivan the man who had me get kidnapped and beaten but he also saved me. I don't know if I can trust him, he may have saved me but for what reason?

After a while of simple chat Ivan told me everything that had happened. He had gone undercover in the security side of the Ark, he was supposed to make a deal with Simon Colpus for medical supplies, but when Colpus refused, The anger was given a mission to assassinate Colpus and make it look like the Bug did it. But because I got in the way, I was the one made to look like the assassin. The people of container city see me as a traitor, and the people of the founder's side see me as a assassin. What am I to do? Ivan has told me that the bug is being questioned on my whereabouts and hes willing to help him if I gave him the blueprints towards the security armor plans.

I am completely questioning my involvement in any of this...

Day 75

Ivan gave me some meds and emergency epi-pens. He wants me clear-headed enough to give him the plans on the security armor, but I'm far too worried about my children to remember them. I haven't seen them in 2 weeks, and with all the choas, they could be hurt or even dea-

No. No, I mustn't think about that. They are alive, I just know it. Maybe not in the best health, but alive. I just.. I just need to find them. But how?

I begged Ivan to find my children, but he refused to do anything without the armor plans. I asked what he was going to do with them, and he said he was going to use them to make armor strong enough to protect against "the tyrants". I'm just going to assuming he means the Security forces. I wondered if I could bargain since they can't do anything fatal to me - I know the plans and they need me alive. I told Ivan that, and he sighed, and agreed to send a few scouts out for them when the crossfire ended. I sighed with relief, but a mere minute after that, the sounds of guns and explosions and dying men picked up again and I cringed in fear, not for my life, but for my children. I knew I should have taught Jack how to shoot. He's always been protective of his sister, and they've really matured during our time in the Ark.

I spent the rest of the day slumped against a corner worrying about my children. Even the guard felt empathy for me. He tried to lift my spirits, but to no avail.

Day 76

Ivan continued to ask me about the armour blue prints but I told him I wouldn't say anything until he gave me my children or I knew they were safe.

I'm not even sure I should give him the plans seeing that it would give both sides different impressions of my self and at this point, I couldn't possibly handle another assassination attempt from either side. I hope I can go back to my regular life soon and more importantly, my family.

Day 77

I've received news from the scouts! Apparently Rebecca and Jack have been living with Brittany and this really has lifted my spirits.

Now that I know how they're doing I feel obligated to tell Ivan what I know about the Security armor.

Upon showing him he seemed a bit dissatisfied with my lack of specifications and that the "blueprint" I did have was more an idea, but he is happy none the less with that information (for now.)

The rest of my day was spent assisting the resistance with small tasks.

just a question what is he writing on?

A journal or notebook or something of the sort, from before his life in the Ark. It's very possible they let him keep it.

Day 20

It seems as if the world is ending, I am hearing gunfire every other ten seconds. I am getting more comfortable with it, and jack says it's cool, but Rebecca has a different opinion.
Guys walked past my house today with big guns and were talking about going to run to the security and see how well it goes. I hope they don't die

One, please read the next 4 pages.

Two, try a little more effort. This is the end of the world as we know it, and the beginning of the world as the Mummy knows it. There is a lot more than this to write in a journal.

We are on day 78.

Day 78

I'm out of my mind worrying about Jack and Rebecca. Ivan offered to have them brought here but that would mean a firefight, which could put them in danger. Besides I'd rather not have them here under the control of my captors.

Ivan put me to work today, my questionable blueprints weren't enough to build off of, but I've made security armor before so they figure I can teach others how to do it. They were right. I refused at first, then Ivan had to leave for something and one of the guards, a little chinese guy with crazy tattoos, came over and told me that if I wasn't willing to help by the time Ivan came back he would "make sure my kids got the treatment traitors deserved".

The resistance guys learn fast and we cranked out 8 sets of armor. I don't think that the resistance workers like being told what to do by a "traitor" and they are constantly checking and double checking to make sure I haven't somehow designed the armor to fail.

Gunfire tonight. It's pretty close, but I don't think this building is a target or even part of the fight.

Gunfire ended, they dragged in a wounded security guy, he's shot up pretty bad, but wearing this big suit of armor that I'm pretty sure held up. He's out cold but breathing and he's not bleeding so I figure he'll be alright. His armor has some extra paint on it, I'm not sure but I think it say's "The Shield".

writers block...

Day 79

Ivans anxious.. i don't know why but he is and its scarring me he's been the calm one this hole time and now all the sudden he can't sit still, he stares at the clock like hes waiting for something i don't like this at all, somethings going on and i cant do a damn thing about it. Ivan has us working three times as fast and we can't keep up! My breaks about to end ill write when i get the next chance.

1 Hour Later

The guards are gone i dont know where or why they've left but now its just me and Ivan sitting across from one another...waiting. Not sure what hes waiting for but im waiting for the gunfire. Not the normal kind thats off in the distance but gunfire that will be right outside. I'm not sure why im so certain that its coming but i can just feel it. A powder keg that been waiting to blow for days now and its gonna be a bloody battle and ill be right in the middle of the crossfire. I beg Ivan to let me go, to let me get back to my kids but my pleas fall on deaf ears he just say that ill be crucial in the coming days. I don't understand, i've made him dozens upon dozens of armours already they know how to make them by themselfs why do they still need me? There's something im not being told, i have a bigger role in this than i thought, i just dont know what that role is yet.

Day 80

The Anger is dead.

After days of tense waiting, armour building, and seeing fewer and fewer guards around the place, I have finally found out why. The Anger is dead. The reason for the sudden build-up of apprehension around here was apparently due to the fact that The Anger had been under cover for the past week or so, and when he was supposed to reappear (3 days ago) he did not. As each day passed when he should have been back, more Resistance fighters were sent out to discreetly try and discover something of his whereabouts. But it turned out none of that was necessary, as it was Security themselves who informed the Resistance leaders. Sending an anonymous note to Ivan and a few of the other main organizers, the Security told them to meet at a location on a side of the Ark that was sparsely populated because of a toxic explosion that had happened a few years ago. The meeting was set for dawn. Suspecting a trap, Ivan and the others brought along several extra Resistance fighters as a bodyguard. When they got to the location, everyone’s eyes were drawn up to a rooftop of an old food production plant. At the edge of the roof there was a tall beam. On that beam was tied The Anger.

As I heard it, The Anger seemed to be badly beaten, and was probably only still standing because of the thick chords binding him to the beam. Beaten or not, as soon as The Anger saw the Resistance leaders, he straightened up… and screamed. I must admit this image frightens me, as everyone I’ve ever talked to agrees on two things of The Anger. He hates the Security, and he never utters a sound. True or not, he screamed here. But not for long. As soon as it began, the scream was drowned out by an even louder sound. A gunshot. A rifle shot. The bullet went right between The Anger’s eyes, and all sound stopped.

In the silence that followed, a loudspeaker started from an unseen location. “To those calling themselves The Resistance. We mean you no harm. We are in perilous times, and must work together if we are to survive on the Ark. However, anarchists and murderers, such as this man, shall not be tolerated, and will be disposed of for the good of the Ark. Go now, and tell the rest of the people. We mean no harm, but the law must be upheld”.

After that, the loudspeaker went quiet. The Resistance group, after recovering from shock, immediately sent their more nimble of fighters to try and find the sniper. The rest of them cautiously went forward to reclaim the body. When no more shots were fired, they unbound it quickly and brought it back with them. No sniper was found.

I, of course, was still imprisoned for all of this, making armour and waiting for more news of my kids and of the current situation. The way I discovered all of this was from Dude, the 17 year old who I had helped after he was wounded in a gunfight outside of my crate, all that time ago before I ever worked for Security. He had been one of the extra fighters that Ivan had chosen to go along with him, and he, the Dude, had seen and heard it all in person.

I do not know what this means for me. I do not know what this means for my kids. I do not know what this means for the war. All I know for certain is that I am so thankful that the Resistance let me keep this journal, for without it to share my fears with, I am very sure that I would go insane.

Off topic:
Sorry for the large post, but I just got really excited. Also apologies for killing off The Anger. Personally I thought this was the perfect use for him, but if anyone else had another perfect use for him, well... let's just say there are ways available to you for bringing him back logically. Please only do that though if you have something reaaaaaally good and critical to making this an even more amazing story, and even then make CERTAIN that you explain his comeback carefully. I didn't go to all this trouble to have him magically resurrected <_<

Hope you enjoyed my first contribution to this masterpiece!

And it was excellent congratz

You're just as much a writer as the rest of us. You might have killed a supporting character, but you pushed the plot ahead, and adds much more for the rest of us to build on.

In my opinion, that's a job well done.

You notice it is not The Mummy's handwriting.

Uh, day 81, I guess.

So, uh, I've always kinda wondered why dat guy wrote in dis book. Flipped through it, and, wow, dis thing's his whole life here on the Ark.

Uh, dat guy, uh, de Mummy, I guess, dey took him away. I dont really know what happened, but dey stopped him before he could go work on more armor. Shame, really, he, uh, worked de hardest on dem. De higher-ups, Ivan and all dem, dey was gonna take away dis book too. I told dem it must be real important if de Mummy guy had it all dis time.

I, uh, guess I'll hold on to dis book until he comes back. De higher-ups, dey won't kill him or nothing. Said he was too important. Me, I thinks he knows something, something real important like.


Uh, I don't even know why I'm writing in dis. No one's going to read dis or anything. De Mummy, he spent all his free time writing in dis, so I decided to give it a try. It's kind of relaxing, you know, kind of like talking to someone, just that dis book don't talk back.





Day 82.

Right, so, uh, de higher-ups, Me and a few other resistance guys, we asked dem what happened to de Mummy, and dey said dey were questioning him. I asked if dere was any word on his family, and I didn't say it, but I'm worried about dem. I don't even know dem, but after reading dis book, it's like I want to know how de story ends. Hey, maybe I'm part of de story now, since I'm in dis book. Dey call me de Warrior, but dat's such a high and mighty name, dey all expect me to be all high and mighty. No way dat's happening if it puts me in the sights of a Security sniper.

De team is taking de Anger's death really hard. I myself didn't know him too well, he never spoke at all, and wasn't too friendly. Ivan's making de workers work even harder on armor, and one of de higher-ups came from were dey was questioning de Mummy, and told de workers how to make better armor. He said something about an Armor Buff, but I don't really know what dat means.

I talked to some other resistance fighter guys, and most of dem hate de Mummy. Dey call him a traitor, dat he joined de Security for a reason. I've been reading dis book, but it looks like de Mummy was forced to join de Security. Uh, Actually, now dat I dink about it, it looks like de Mummy was forced to join de Resistance too. Poor guy.




(Off-topic:)
So I took the liberty to have someone else - A slow-minded Resistance fighter named The Warrior - write in the Mummy's journal. I believe it allows for a different view on things. For anyone who wants to continue this, please note that the Warrior replaces the "th-" with "d-", so "this" becomes "dis". If you want to, you can just disreagard this, and give the journal back to the Mummy.

(Off topic)
Hahaha, I was originally going to point out how no one would write the way they speak (replacing th with d), but overall I like this switch up too much to be too irritated by it. Good way of getting a fresh perspective :foodndrink:

I dunno, it's very possible he wasn't educated right. The Ark has been around for 20 years, and it's very possible some of the fighters were born on it. They might not be all that educated. Plus, I think it adds a touch of humor to an otherwise grim situation.

Thank for accepting my plot twist. I'm rather proud of it, and I'm wondering how the next few posts will go now that I've added in a new point of view on things.