And if you can't be friends, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDLkRPuNi5U.

I've always looked at high school romances as just practice for more serious relationships you will get into in college. I plan on moving out of state for college, and keeping a long distance relationship doesn't seem like it would be worth it to me. So I will probably just start over with relationships in college and use what I learned in high school.

then don't pursue love. If you don't want that in your life then don't allow it to become a part of your life.
that being said, the desires of the heart tend to have no master, and you may find yourself eating those words at some point in your High School career I know I sure did

my first, juvenile, reaction to this question was "NO, DEAR GOD NO IT'S HORRIBLE AHHHHHHHHHH *whimpers*"
but after regaining my composure
grades are more important but there's something to be said for learning the basics of dating in high school, it makes pursuing real relationships in settings like college or work easier to engage in. I went through hell and high water in high school as far as romance goes. But it was only with one girl over an obscenely long period of time and ultimately, while I definitely learned a massive amount about communication, patience and controlling one's emotions, I'm very much regretting now not having forced myself to pursue other girls during high school because now I'm learning some things most guys I know already knew by the end of high school.

which I guess brings me to the ultimate lesson of my post: when your high school romance inevitably fails horribly, please learn to let go.

at the same time though, grades should be your main priority. I may have been socially awkward but I was also an AP student and now attending a nice 4-year university while other friends of mine who spent way too much time pursuing girls and popularity are stuck in community colleges and probably going to remain stuck far longer than they expected

Uh... what?

I wouldn't know...

Going to go on a limb to assume 'I've been hurt and rejected to much, so I'm gonna look thick skinned and jaded on the interwebs'

As i said earlier, there is a Chemical reaction between emitted hormones that determine if people are attracted to each other

Unless you have a good reason not to, why not

there's dating sites based on this now I wonder what it's like lol being really attracted to your date.

I guess I see the relationships differently because I was in a unique high school where we were the highest grade as sophomores and were pretty much always upperclassmen most of the relationships are for fun and last for weeks. were the real trouble comes is the ones that lasts for years usually it's with two people who really don't belong together and there's alot of drama but some try to rough it out and once senior year comes they just ditch eachother. there are some however that I have seen work out really well some people that are just amazing together and I could definatly see them getting married but this is extremely rare.
but just try to have fun while keeping up your grades most girls are not worth not getting into that college

can't believe this thread exists

Why would you even think about it? you're meant to do dumb stuff in your teenage years, so why not, it's just something else to experience.

Worth what?

Maybe it is a waste of time, maybe it isn't, that depends entirely on who is doing the dating with who, but frankly one of the great things about high school is that you can waste loads of your time and it doesn't matter one tiny little bit.

If you go into all your relationships in life hoping or expecting them to last forever, then you'll probably end up seeing most (if not all) of them as a waste of time. That's not exclusive to high school...

To be serious, no jokes, i've never really had a girl friend and found no reason to need one. I truly do find love and romance to be rather stupid ideas, used by lonely people as an excuse to find "happiness" in the real world.

Some find happiness in drugs, some in a bottle, some in hobbies and others in a significant other. Who are we to judge how people find it, so long as it isn't hurting anyone?

This right here, and also why HS romances are worth it, because they don't last! Think of it as training ground for when you start going on dates with people you actually would want to spend your life with. Also, don't get horrifically depressed if you get dumped and such in HS, because in the grand scheme of things, everything from HS and before do not matter at all.

Not saying people shouldn't find happiness, just saying I find the idea of love and romance to be a rather stupid pursuit in HS, potentially in life. It takes away time, effort, and energy that could be better spent towards other areas in a person's life. As you say however, "who are we to judge how people find it, so long as it isn't hurting anyone?" and I do agree with that as I don't really care either way. Just putting out my 2 cents on the subject.

I'm of the thought process that "worth it" is entirely subjective; that is to say that it's really up to the individuals involved to evaluate the situation and decide, and there's no blanket rule of "worth is because x" or "bad idea because y".

For me, I had three boyfriends across high school. They all ended. Did I know they would be statistically likely to end? Yes. Did I engage anyways? Yes. It's time I spent enjoying myself in the company of another person to which I had a close bond. I'm still really good friends with one of them. Really, all a romantic relationship is is a friendship with a little more personal care and connection.

Now I'm out of high-school, and I'm in another relationship. Is it statistically likely to last for 5 years, let alone the rest of my life? Probably not. Am I going to try anyway? He's the closest friend I have, and I wouldn't trade it for any hypothetical situation in the world, because this one I know to be just fine; I cannot say the same for anything else.

Edit: And on the note of "the one", there is no such thing. There is no one person that is perfectly matched for you. With 7 billion people on this planet, and the idea that there is one (and only one) person that is meant for you is a very dismal idea. Even ignoring the "only one" condition, no relationship ever has been perfect. Me and my boyfriend argue occasionally, we disagree, we even dislike personal traits of each-other. Does that mean we're in a bad relationship, doomed to fail?

It just means we're human.

I would be of the same mind of Morrowind Fanatic here. I know a guy who met his girlfriend when he was 14, they've been together for 13 years now. I know a few people who have had the biggest mess ups of all time in their teenage love lives, it's subjective to personal experience you can't really pre-emptively decide if it would be worth it for you personally.

I'd say good or bad it's worth trying out, it can end fantastically or you can get alot of the bad mistakes you're destined to make/be a part of out of the way early.

Yes, you'll become a broken and dismal shell of a man, finding happiness in a bottle the rest of your life.

That's why I'm not monogamous, so I don't feel the need to chain myself to a bottle because my cherished one is not enough. Something I discovered a long time ago and put it out there so that anyone interested knows what they're getting and now I'm married to someone who gets that.

Some relationships are not good for people, and some philosophies are not good for people. That's why you experiment and find out if it's right for you. The notion though that romantic relationships take away from other pursuits is just nonsense. They can if you let them, and imo if they do, that's not the right relationship. As I said, I'm married, still a fairly hardcoe gamer (though the amount of games I play is reduced), have a son, still do weight lifting at least 3 times a week (roughly 2 hour sessions), work a minimun of 45 hours a week (only required to do 38.75), and maintain a healthy social life with friends. I also have a couple nice hobbies that I pursue that are fun for me and have taken many years acquiring the skills to use them, and in some parts, expertly so.

What don't I do? Watch cable television.

If you don't care either way, don't call people stupid.

I didn't call people stupid, I called the "idea" of being in love stupid, and that's an opinion not fact just FYI. Of course, as of late, it seems that a person isn't even allowed to have opinions on subject matters.

You are allowed to have an opinion, but that doesn't mean people won't discuss it if their own opinion differs.


I'm not really fussed about being in a relationship either, but I don't see why it being a chemical process matters. People stuff their bodies with all sorts of chemicals, some being necessary to survive and some being merely recreational. I don't see why love being chemical in nature cheapens the experience.

It's completely up to the person - aka you. I didn't date in high school outside of some very superficial "dates" or guys I "hung out with" and I was quite ok with that. I had (and still have) a very low tolerance for drama and high school kids were/are full of it. Honestly, I had no desire to ever date - I am happy without someone to "validate" me, but life threw me a curve ball and I've been with my boyfriend for over 7 years now.

If you want to date - do it. If you don't want to date - don't do it. It's not really a question of whether it's "worth it" or not. As said by many above: it's completely subjective.

With all of that said: My parents started dating when my mother 14 and my father was 17. They've only been apart for a couple of months when they "took time off" after my dad graduated. They got married a week after my mother graduated high school... that's almost 40 years ago and they're still together so, even though it's rare perhaps, you can find someone long-term in high school. Of course, the mentality of my parent's generation (your grandparent's generation for some of you) was that you work it out, you don't automatically divorce because things aren't as peachy keen as you thought they'd be.

Call me old fashioned or call me optimistic but I think that even the idea of it is wonderful, actually experiencing it day in day out is a blessing.

If you love someone it isn't your choice. It's not that simple.