Focus more on your studies. Romance or whatever you want can come later in the future that way you can be ready if you ever do plan to get a family or whatever you want. Thats what i think.

Some people choose to spend all their free time alone and some enjoy sharing a bit of that time with someone of the opposite six. You're not going to instantly lose your independence when you date.

The matter of how "dating will take away from other important areas of your life" is complete nonsense. Dating is just like adding another aspect of anything to your life. It doesn't detract any of that "important" stuff you have going on. One does not decrease time you're able to spend on the other. What could one being doing that takes up all their time in their live and is so important? It's not like you're going to lose your job once you get a girlfriend or your grades will automatically go downhill. Having a girlfriend does not decrease time you'll be able to spend on your studies. Where people got this idea I do not know.

Relationships have a lot more to offer than just "not being lonely". Some think putting "time, effort and energy" into a relationship is worth while because of everything you get out of it. I really don't see how dating or finding love is a "world crutch"?



Love is a basic human emotion. We're built to seek and have companionship. You can't choose to just not have any interest in it.


Also, I don't see anyone here not allowing you to your opinion. Just because we may disagree with it or ask you about it doesn't mean we don't approve of people having opinions and posting your's on a forum leaves it open for discussion.

I'm sort of wondering why he'd be posting on a forum in general, with the only purpose to serve as a sort of world crutch that helps lonely hearts to craddle one another in a "tender embrace."

I don't know, I'm in an all boys school (not gay) so I haven't had a high school relationship. I don't count primary school.

It s a case by case scenario, some people found true love in highschool (like this friend of mine, they're married now with children ).

Here's something that I sent to a fanfiction author a while back. It sort of shows that love isn't a choice.

"I'm only fourteen but I went through a very similar experience. I met the girl at the end of Year 7 when I was twelve and I hardly talked to her. She was largely known as a "psychopath" because she's hurt a couple of people with her scissors when they annoyed her. Anyway, it was in Year 8 that I got to know her more. We both had the same English lessons, French lessons and Product Design lessons. She was and is a lot like me; we liked the same sort of things, had the same sort of views on everything and had a similar attitude. So we obviously clicked and she became a very close friend straight away.

About half way through Year 8 she asked me out. I didn't have a clue how I felt and didn't say anything for two weeks. After those two weeks she dropped it, but that was also when I started to gather feelings for her. As time went on we stayed as close friends, but she was making me less of a friend and I was becoming more and more in love with her. When the six week holidays came to pass, I had missed her greatly. So in Year 9 was where I became slightly obsessed.

For the first four months until after Christmas everything went great. I spent lots of time with her secretly flirting and we were both having lots of fun. But in January, on the eighteenth, we were casually hanging out in the school library when her boyfriend came in. He never truly treated her like a girlfriend, more like a sister. So he came in and looked at us, clearly annoyed. She spotted this and asked him what was wrong. He said, "You two spend lots of time together.", clearly jealous. She replied with, "Oh, don't worry he's obsessed with me." before walking off with him. That's where chaos started.

It was basically the next day when she suddenly hated my guts for no reason. She ignored me for a long time, before beginning to be horrible to me because I kept asking her why. By now a lot of people liked her. She became a beautiful object to the hormonal nerdy types and became a great friend to all girls this meant that she spread lies about me everywhere, causing everyone to hate me. My friends were nice and sympathetic to me at first, but soon they got annoyed at it all and gave up. She continued to treat me horribly to breaking point for me, but luckily I started to recover slightly. I hated seeing her like that, but I began to deal with it. But suddenly, luckily for me, she became my friend again... For two weeks. Yep. She made me feel great for two weeks and then was suddenly horrible again. Wow.

My birthday came shortly after. I was fine on my fourteenth birthday up until half way through the school day when she started being horrible with three of her friends. I couldn't do anything. I felt glued to the floor. When I managed to do something, it was from rage. I picked up one of the girl's bags and threw it at one of them. I didn't do it to her, because I just couldn't. I accidentally gave this girl a black eye. So later my mum and dad informed me of their disapproval and told me I'll be in isolation on the next day of school. This was on my birthday!

So she hate me for another long while, along with most of my peers (including hormonal boys who were once my friends), and then she liked me again, then hated me, then liked me. But I had gotten used to it. It had all made me a wiser person. I took a different approach to my sometimes obsessive behaviour to get her back, I decided to take everything with a calm but fun attitude. It worked. She became my friend from July on the last day of school, right through the six week holidays into September and into the middle of October. She had dumped her old boyfriend months before then, so I was back to flirting slightly and genuinely having fun. Things had changed between us, but not that much.

What happened after between us was my fault. She had changed from the girl I used to know and love. She was now more popular, flirted with her friends that are boys and let them tickle her and randomly pick her up. I hated this new more popular flirty version of her. The worst thing was that she never let me even so much as hug her. But she randomly kissed this boy I knew and I hated it. He didn't deserve her. He has always been popular, had lots of girlfriends, was and is very big headed about everything and constantly uses his "My mum's dead, my dad's in prison and my brother hates me" card. Don't feel sorry for him, he uses it for his own advantage a lot. He also has a bad sense of humour but lots of people liked him for it, but I stayed unpopular.

So, what happened was that I got worked up over it all because she was going out with her old boyfriend whilst kissing this other boy and flirting with other boys. I called her a few names and pushed her before going to my lesson. After that she hated me again, which was so freaking unfair because she has been treated much worse by others. She became my friend again last month and we have been friends since.

Why am I still her friend? Why do I put up with all of this hassle constantly? Why do I put up with it all constantly when I am a very nice person who deserves better? I put up with it because I love her. And I know that this will probably happen more, but I can't help myself. I know some blame can be put on me for my slightly obsessive love for her and my anger at the situation, but I don't deserve any of that. Fate is being cruel. I'm also very romantic, as she has said before, but I don't want to get another girl. I want her. If you knew her you'd understand. The sweet laugh that makes anyone crumble, the evil little smile she has that is just adorable, the squeak she makes when she's being tickled and how her face goes as red as a tomato sometimes. Everything about her is just perfect, and I deserve to have her because I have know her for longer than most and I actually love her, I don't want to just have my hands down her pants."

There more of an update now. She hated me on my birthday and ruined the day again and has hated me since. I don't choose to love her, I can't help it. The person she is is addicting.

Depends if shes trrouble. If the girl ro guy in qestion likes to go.out and party and drink...this ussualy leads to trouble that affects the rest of your life.

No it doesn't.

Yes it's worth it, everything in life is worth a go.
Me and my girlfriend have been together since we first met away back in year 8, so that's 12 years of happiness between us, that wasn't without it's up and downs but those have definitely brought us closer.
We both studied similar stuff in high school but were only in 2 classes together, human biology and RE. RE was hilarious.
But anyway, being in a relationship during school didn't affect our learning in the slightest, we gave each other space to learn when it was needed and helped each other were we could. I came out with 6 higher grades and an advanced higher in maths, her highers match mine but she has 2 advanced highers - was not jealous at all lol.
As for the love dying out while still in school, sure that's a factor to consider but if you love them truly that thought should never cross your mind. There were times, and always will be, were the relationship is put through it's paces but that's were you learn about each other and learn to overcome obstacles - like when me and Pamela began giving each other space for the sake of our education, and devoted certain days to each other.

It's worth it if the opportunity is there. Though there is no point actively seeking a relationship.

As for grades, I find that my relationship actually helped me with school work. I don't think I'd have done as well if I didn't have something such as a relationship on the go.

Wrong. You'll still be facing repercussions when you're 70 years old. "Why did I drink that fourth 4% alcohol beer back in 1995?!".

Only if s/he stabs you.

Especially in the increasingly modernized era we're in. The thought police will hear that mental admission of guilt, and next thing you know you've got a month in jail.

Edit: Or worse, they'll tell the girl, and she'll come and hit you with her cane for feeling anything but positive emotions about her/actions with her.

Wait... I once stood next to someone taking what may have been an illegal substance... am I doomed?

Well not the rest of your life into yoour.old age. But listen here Im in a Criminal Justice program and to many times i've heard stories of decent kids going to parties and getting drunk and then they drive home. Then they get pulled over by cops and now they have a DUI charge.

Not a srs charge in it self but good luck getting hired at a company that requires you to have a company vehcial, also your insurance sky rockets. If i remember right its like 3-5 years before companys and insurances trust you again

So yeah dont get pulled into that kinda [censored].

I have plenty of friends who drive, and I've seen them get really drunk - like, throwing up on your own shoes drunk - and yet not one of them has ever decided it'd be a good idea to get behind the wheel of a car when in that state. Just because you've seen some stupid kids do some stupid [censored], doesn't mean that anyone who ever touches a drop of liquor is gonna end up a delinquent meth addict with no limbs and infant twins by the age of 19...

It's 2013 now, surely we can all stop aping the crap we learnt at school and accept that casual six is fun, alcoholics are erudite and loveable, and smoking makes you cool?

Honestly, I'm rather disappointed that my post was ignored...

Well it was an incoherent, rambling and irrelevant mess...

All romance is worth it.

Turns!

Yes. For the god of love yes.

It's more than just likely to fail I think, but at least you get a bit of experience and learn that people can be total dikes and stuff. Awesome. Also it can be a bit of a motivator. But I guess it depends on the relationship.

Stop chasing after her, it's stupid and this whole "I can't choose who I love" thing is a crappy excuse you've made up because you're too scared to let go. She's treated you like crap, she doesn't care about you, and you're just fooling yourself into thinking it's your fault. If she wants to go around chasing random guys or whatever, good for her, she doesn't deserve you, not vice versa.


No, I understand just fine. I've had more than one break-up and every time it feels like "I'll never love anybody like that again, she was just perfect!". The reason you feel that way is because you're so attached to her. You need to let go. Saying "I can't let go!" is just a poor excuse, and it's bad for both of you. Life's not fair, doesn't mean you have to go chasing after a pipe dream which probably isn't all it's cracked up to be anyway.

You may think you can't stand the pain of not having her, but trust me that's nothing compared to what you're getting yourself in for with this obsession.


Absolutely [censored] disgusting behaviour. This is not somebody you want to be in a relationship with, or even friends with. You really don't want to know what it feels like to be cheated on. Just forget about her. REALLY.


You're fooling yourself once again. You're no more entitled to her than anybody else is. And if you ask me, as I've said before, just forget about her, because if she's cheated on guys before, she will again. Stop talking to her. Stop hanging out with her. Find something to take up your time, and in a few months you'll realise how foolish you were. She's just a typical [censored] and you think you should let her get away with anything because "I CAN'T CHOOSE WHO I LOVE"... At the end of the day you're just hurting yourself.

It gives you the most valuable experience you will ever get in your life:

That of pain.

Have fun!