Maybe I was wrong about you, anyone smart enough to shut up and listen can't be all bad.

Well, it was mostly a marriage of convenience and mutual gain. I gave him a warm comfy home and pretty pretty things, he blasted the bejesus out of anything that so much as looked at me funny. I chose to look for romance in other places....

[img]http://img815.imageshack.us/img815/9715/ohulfricyounaughtyboy.jpg[/img]

Altho I confess I did feel a little guilty when I came home in the morning. "It's so good see you! Back from some big adventure, I guess?"

"Um... er... yeah... I'm just gonna go take a quick bath and... could you make me some breakfast?"

*cringe*



Oh, and another favorite one-liner, spoken by Vignar Grey-Mane as I rushed past through the streets of Whiterun:

"12 septims on the girl! Look at that speed!"

Isn't this why we all get married?

Marcurio really is a great follower, and his dialogue is some of the more diverse and entertaining. The funniest thing I remember with him was an incident that nearly resulted in his death. We were sneaking through a Nordic ruin and ahead I noticed a pressure plate near a hallway turn. I navigated around it and noticed it was one of those swinging-spiked-gate traps. Satisfied that I had avoided that, and with Marcurio following a short distance behind I stepped forward and right onto the other pressure plate. I turned around just in time to see the gate swing quickly behind me and smack Marcurio all the way back into the wall. I waited patiently for his health to regenerate enough for him to stand up again, and then we moved on. Soon after we were on a high bridge loaded with pressure plates and a long drop down. I was thinking how to navigate it when Marcurio spoke up meekly from behind, "Please try not to set off any traps."

Overheard this conversation from the family that runs the Silver-Blood Inn in Markarth.


Kleppr: "How are your chores coming, my son?"
Hreinn: "Today I've cleaned the linens, washed the floors, and checked in on all our guests."
Kleppr: "Ah, my son, you'll be a fine innkeeper someday, like your father."
Hreinn: "But mother says you're a terrible innkeeper!"

That venomous wife of his.

That's some Master level Guilt Tripping, I tell you what.

The thing that really sold me on him was the first time I ever heard his response to the "trade items" command. I had only used Lydia up to that point, so... yeah. One of the major reasons I wanted to be rid of her. When he broke out his line I actually lolled. One could argue that the attitude displayed should be just as irritating, but somehow it's not. All in the delivery, I guess, and honestly he's got more reason to be offended at the request than she ever did.

Another gem from Mr. I Am Not A Pack Mule, during a brief moment of relative peace while clearing out a really nasty draugr-infested tomb:

"If these ruins frighten you, take comfort in the fact that I'm here."

This is especially funny if you're already a Thu'um possessing, Civil War winning, Companions leading, College of Winterhold supervising, Alduin slaying and Odahviing summoning level 63 Nord warrior wearing Daedric armor and carrying the most powerful self-made weapons ever known to Nirnkind.

Basically anything that J'Zargo says. He's easily my favorite NPC.

Well, besides Cicero of course. But I get the feeling that maybe I just have a weird sense of humor and that people on these forums just don't think he's as hilariously entertaining as I do.

Reminds me of an incident with Erik the Slayer: we'd just finished off a particularly tough fight against a Thalmor interrogator. Just as soon as he'd dropped dead, Erik turned to me and suddenly announced, "I don't like wizards and spells. Give me an axe any day."

...Keep in mind that he was saying this to his best friend / possible future wife, who's a spellsword and routinely uses her magic to enchant all his weapons and gear and save his bacon in particularly bad fights. Guess who got himself banished to the proverbial couch for that one.

Then there was the time we were in the Karthwasten mine, trying to talk the mercenary "guards" there into leaving peacefully. Just as a particularly grumpy merc snarls at us not to take anything while we're there, Erik turns my character and chirps, "Do you think we'll find any gold nuggets in here?" ...Yes, dear. Let's suggest to the already paranoid mercenaries that we might steal some ore while we're here. Brilliance.

I do love Erik. Even if he is quite the master of putting his foot in it sometimes.

My favorite unwanted comment from Marcurio was when we were going into a deserted building that didn't look all that special. About three feet from the front door he all of a sudden blurted out, "There's a cave here. Think we should go inside?"

Well yes there was a cave there, but the entrance was in the cellar of the building that we were about to explore. For the first time ever. Gee, thanks for the spoiler, Kreskin.

I've heard him say that more after coming out of the cave than before going in. It's kind of like, "Seriously, Marcurio? Where the hell do you think we spent the last three hours?"

Yep, I think it's something that pops up based on proximity to a cave entrance regardless of other circumstances.

Bandit I'm charging in werewolf form, "Where are you going in such a hurry."

To The Dragonborn wearing full Dragonplate, "No man is a match for a dragon"

When I shop in Arnleif's, I swear Imedhnain is threatening me when he says: "With Lisbet gone, I'll be taking care of you."

Marcurio and I was standing in a house, having killed a bunch of bandits, who apparently killed the house owner before we got there. There are bodies on the floor, blood everywhere. Marcurio, however, has other concerns. He looks at the perfectly fine roof and states that "these timbers are rotted through".

Need I say I went "huh?" before I started laughing?

And has anyone tried using a healing spell on Farkas? He goes "mm, that felt GOOD" in a voice that made my character (who's married to Vilkas) feel almost as if she'd been doing something to him you shouldn't do to anyone beside your husband, and most definitely not your brother-in-law. Or maybe she has something going on there without my knowledge, who knows?

I liked that Orc badass inside Cidhna Mine. He said something like "I'm in for tresspass, theft, assault, murder...and lollygagging." Probably my favorite line in the game so far.

Exactly via what pathway do you administer healing spells?

Well I could make an obvious arrow to the knee comment but I won't. I guess when bandits talk about cheating at cards.

"Destruction magic's fine, just don't go burning down any buildings." Guards

Heard this next one for the first time the other day and cracked up. I was in the College of Winterhold practicing sneaking behind the instructor Sergius Turrianus, and he said something like: "You're a bad sneak. You're not going to fool anyone like that."

I love it when the guards tell me that they "tried alchemy once but never could get the hang of it." ...I always assumed they're confusing alchemy with making moonshine.

Guard in Morthal : "Psst, I know who you are. Hail Sithis!"

The fletcher in Solitude : "Why of course. And will you also be needing the bow that shoots rainbows? Or perhaps a quiver that dispenses beer?"

There's spell called Healing Hands which you can cast on an NPC to heal them. IIRC it doesn't work on everybody and will sometimes be treated like an attack or just ignored completely. But you can use it on followers to restore their health if they've really been beat up in a fight.



Never mind, lol, I think I completely misread your post. Embarrassing, I usually don't miss an innuendo like that.

Not exactly a one liner, but while running through Angarvunde (with subtitles on) I had a draugr deathlord say "Dir Nivahriin Pook!" to my character when it spotted her while she was trying to sneak past it.. I guess she really needed a bath. It translates as "Die cowardly stink!" I had turned on the subtitles because I wanted to know what they were saying to each other. I got more than I bargained for.

"The sooner we get out of this filth-pit, the better."

I think Marcurio and I have been married too long. He's now saying what I'm thinking...

Maybe we should ask Farkas?