Favorite Random One Liner from NPC? : V - Skyrim

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 11:18 pm

Little girl in Whiterun hollered angrily "DON'T TALK TO ME!" then immediately walks away saying "Nice talking to you!"

» Thu Jun 07, 2012 2:29 am

What's the hurry? Ralof says as I sprint past him in Helgen, running from the dragon.

» Thu Jun 07, 2012 1:11 am

"Cicero is hungry.....need a sweetroll....or a carrot....."

EDIT: I forgot the best one! "Oooh, Listener~! That tickles!" (dialogue for asking him to carry something.)

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 4:16 pm

I was just chilling on the balcony out the back of Sky Haven Temple with Esbern and the gang when a dragon dropped in to play. So, after we showed it the error of its ways and I OM NOM NOM'd its soul, Esbern stood there looking at it then turned to me and said

"What is it?"

*facepalm*

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 9:28 pm

I just left a huge underground dungeon full of Falmer when I see Mi'aq the Liar on the road outside of the entrance. The first thing he says is:

"M'aiq knows why Falmer are blind. It has nothing to do with the Dwemer disappearing. Really."

I had to Wiki the line to make sure I heard it right. :biggrin:

*hysterical laughter* You would almost think the game had eyes... even if the falmer don't.... /boggle!

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 1:51 pm

Whilst walking around Winterhold in my undies:
Guard: "Going to get cold tonight. Might want to at least cover your delicates."

:blush2:

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 3:32 pm

If you dismiss Marcurio as a follower, then return to the Bee and Barb, he says "Well, look what the horker dragged in! Still wandering all over Skyrim and causing trouble?"

If you initiate the dialogue to hire him again, he says, "I knew you couldn't stay away. Admit it, you were lost without me!"

Dude is awesome.

Yeah, I sacrificed him to Boethiah. He cried like a weenie.

» Thu Jun 07, 2012 3:45 am

One of my favorites is the fletcher in Solitude. You ask if he has arrows that can kill a dragon and he replies something like "why of course, sir. And will you also be needing the Bow that shoots rainbows and the quiver that dispenses ale?"

» Thu Jun 07, 2012 1:25 am

Here are two from Jarl Balgruuf that made me laugh.

"Did I just hear you say you want to trap a DRAGON in my palace?"

and this one

"Now, what's this about trapping a dragon in my palace?"

(Lol. I just love Balgruuf's voice, especially how he says the emphasis on the word palace in the second quote! XD)

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:10 pm

As I used Kyne's Peace to pacify a bear, a wandering farmer passed me by: "You could move mountains with that sound". Must've shouted in his ear. ^^

And yeah, the capture-a-dragon discussion with Balgruuf is funny. :biggrin:

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:07 pm

Whilst walking around Winterhold in my undies:
Guard: "Going to get cold tonight. Might want to at least cover your delicates."

:blush2:

LOL! Hey, sound advice! Never let it be said that the guards don't care about the wellbeing of the common people of Skyrim.

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 7:30 pm

Not really one-liner but still...

M'aiq the Liar

"M'aiq knows many things, no?"
*keeps on clicking him*
"M'aiq is tired now. Go bother somebody else."
*keeps on clicking him*
"M'aiq is done talking."

LOL!! Other characters should be more like this instead of letting us repeatedly click on an NPC and hearing the same line over and over and over.

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 5:38 pm

One of my favorites is the fletcher in Solitude. You ask if he has arrows that can kill a dragon and he replies something like "why of course, sir. And will you also be needing the Bow that shoots rainbows and the quiver that dispenses ale?"

This.

I think it's hilarious XD. Also, he's an ass.

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 12:45 pm

"Do what I do. Walk up to your target, introduce yourself, melt their skin of, then run like the wind. Works every time." -Festus Krex in the Dark Brotherhood

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 4:34 pm

Not really one-liner but still... :tongue:

M'aiq the Liar

"M'aiq knows many things, no?"
*keeps on clicking him*
"M'aiq is tired now. Go bother somebody else."
*keeps on clicking him*
"M'aiq is done talking."

LOL!! Other characters should be more like this instead of letting us repeatedly click on an NPC and hearing the same line over and over and over.

mass effect is really excellent when it comes to repetitive dialogue, theres a certain computer console in the game that produces like 12 lines of dialogue for the game who feels the need to incessantly click on things when told not to.

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 7:38 pm

(maybe not exact, sorry)

My body is a weapon, just unsheathe me.

"I'm not a man, I'm a weapon in human form. Just unsheathe me, and point me at the enemy." Hrongar, brother of Jarl Balgruuf, and self-proclaimed anthropomorphic broadsword.

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 11:23 pm

"I'm not a man, I'm a weapon in human form. Just unsheathe me, and point me at the enemy." Hrongar, brother of Jarl Balgruuf, and self-proclaimed anthropomorphic broadsword.

lol, thanks.
There's a lot of double-entendre stuff in this game, mostly tame, but a lot of it. :cool:

» Thu Jun 07, 2012 1:17 am

"Get onnn with itttt!" - Guy who sounds like Belethor when you first enter Solitude and they're about to execute the prisonner. Always cracks me up.

Lot's of funny stuff in Skyrim. I love it.

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 12:02 pm

When you storm Dragonsreach for the Stormcloaks and while Vignar and Balgruuf are doing their bickering, Ralof says "I killed more Imperials than you. I was counting"

And when Farengar says "You know, if you have the aptitude, you should join the Mages College in Winterhold" when I'm wearing the Arch-Mage robes xD

» Thu Jun 07, 2012 12:19 am

"The Companions are werewolves?"
"Not everyone, but all the members of the Circle are. It's a secret to everybody."

Really now? Apparently I didn't know that.
Also, the reference.

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 11:22 pm

Walking past guard with volendrung equiped:

"What are you going to do with that hammer, knock down a house?"

Belgrof the merchant in whiterun:
"I sell just about anything for the right price. If I had a sister id prob sell her to."

Might not be spot on with the words. ^^

» Thu Jun 07, 2012 2:39 am

"The gods gave you two hands, and you use them both for your weapon. I can respect that." - Guard

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 1:35 pm

"Hey! That's a valuable animal!" Various townspeople, after killing a chicken.

"You're not supposed to play with fire." Various kids, when casting a fire spell.

"Umm...don't suppose you'd want to take that fire somewhere else? You know...away from me?" Paratus Decimius, when I try to use fire spells to focus the Oculory, like he told me to.

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 4:25 pm

Papa Says i wont see roggvir anymore, but he wont tell me why not

AND....

*drops wooden bowl in riften inn*
Snowshod: Hey look what i found
Indaryl: No i see it first

FIGHT

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 6:23 pm

Cosnach when you're fighting a dragon, "Hit the one in the middle!" Or whenyou use healing hands, "Heeey, my hangover is gone."