I was on my mage, clearing out Driftshade Ruins, if that's the name. Anyway, old fort with Silver Hand inside. I got to the next-to-last room and screwed up a conjuration. I thought I could outheal and damage the Silver Hand but nope. So I see my body drop to the floor, still wreathed in the "healing" spell effect, and she says to me, "Is that magic? Be careful!"

Yes, despite my best efforts I can't seem to dismiss him. Before I hired him I would tire of my followers rather quickly. They didn't seem very useful, lacked personality (of the nonannoying variety), and tended to get in the way too much. Marcuio has his little faults, for instance, sometimes he ends my fights too quickly. I don't like having the thrill of a kill taken from me, but... ah well. It kind of put me off the first time I dismissed him and he came back with, "So you think you can make it on your own then. We'll see about that." Then, after getting almost destroyed in a nearby ruin, I hired him again. He's a badass and he knows it. Luckily, now that I'm higher level, the discrepancy isn't so great.

A Guard: "I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow in the knee"

Sprinting power attack reactions FTW.

Did you know bandits tend to shout "Watch it!" and " Be careful!" before getting their heads chopped off?

"When I grow up, I'm going to be an assassin. That way I can help lots of children, just like you." -Aventus Aretino. This line made me laugh out loud.

That was very funny to hear too. "Unsheath me and point me at the enemy". Something like that.

"We're so dead." Whiterun guard after being given the "Let's go kill us a dragon" speech.

Can't remember exactly where this was, but just installed a body mod, unequiped armor and entered a nearby inn from the outside to see how the mod looked in interior lighting and came face to face with a beared Nord to who said

"By Ysmir's beard your going to freeze to death like that"

Made me laugh so much.

"Iron Sword, huh? What are killing, butterflies?" -random guard near Riften

"Die already so I can take your stuff!" -random bandit

"I don't care if you're friends with the Guild Master..." -Dirge (says this to me only when I am Guild Master of the TG)(so confused!)

Random Guard: "I'm going to have to ask you to stop! That... 'shouting' is making everyone nervous."

Yes, I tend to shout a lot in town for no reason.

I may not have the exact wording on this one, but:

"Maybe a big hearty Nord like you doesnt need a cure all. How about an invisibilty potion?" Arcadia. So what's so odd about this one? I was playing on my Breton!

Considering I don't see the slightest resemblance in those two quotes I kinda doubt it.

Had just become a cannibal and a Markarth guard said: 'Your breath stinks! What have you been eating!'

That one is more hilarious when the guard has an actual arrow in their knee.

By the way it is in the knee not to the knee.

I think she did that to my Argonian so . . .

Ok who lets a complete idiot run a potion shop?

M'aiq the liar. I like him
"M'aiq knows much and tell some"

Heh I was actually thinking of creating an Argonian to test this.

My current fav is from Arnbjorn. I overheard his talk about a recent kill of a Khajiit master of the Whispering Fang; "...and now I have a new loin cloth!"

I swore on my current (and second) playthrough I would do everything differently. But I still ended up hiring Marcurio, just like with my first character, because I ended up getting to the point where I was dealing with dragons too frequently but without being leveled up enough with the right skills to bring one down and even have a chance at killing it. The only quest-related follower I'd earned was a Nord melee fighter who was good enough in close combat situations against opponents who couldn't blast you from mid-air but hopeless when it came to helping me survive a dragon attack. After dying and getting a reload numerous times trying to kill the same dragon somewhere outside Riften, I finally gave up and checked my purse and reloaded all the way back in town where I told my Nord buddy to head on back home so I could hire Marcurio. 40+ levels later, he's still with me. He's even better now because I haven't married him this time, and I could swear that marrying him must've blocked or "switched off" some of his best random follower dialogue because I'm hearing stuff I never heard before, and I kept him as a follower/spouse for longer than this with my first character. I know some people find him arrogant and off-putting but I adore him, he's great company and almost never fails to amuse.

Favorite recent one-liner: somewhere in the Reach we have to clear out a large Forsworn encampment. I'm mostly melee, running directly into the fray, he's off doing his awesome ranged magic thing and blasting people with some staff I gave him... so, we often get separated for the entire duration of an outdoor battle like that and when it's over I have to look around for him and wait for him to find me and return to my position. Anyway, I'm standing there surrounded by all these dead bodies and he comes running up through the human debris, stops a few feet away, and deadpans:

"These Forsworn don't even have the decency to dress right."

And the timing, it was perfect.

Also some great lines from him when exploring dungeons... "Would it be foolish to stop and light a fire? I suppose it would."

And, in the middle of some Dwemer ruin, after fighting our way through all the little tricks and booby-traps and maybe a dozen or so very determined opponents, the last one of which was a bandit chief who was much more skilled and better equipped than I was at the time... I had to turn and run away a couple times just to get time and distance to pop enough healing potions to not die before he caught up and hit me again... well, when he catches up the last time I turn around just in time to see Marcurio hit him with a blast of lightning from the balcony where he's just finished taking out the last of the remaining "lesser" opponents. I hit him once with my mace and that's all she wrote. As usual, Marcurio comes running back to me, over the corpses and through the blood, stops, and says: "You know, the Dwemer were renowned for their use of ingenious traps. We should probably be careful in here."

Could you be more specific?

Yes, but then I tend to get a little long-winded.

Fine, we'll just try to guess the details.

Works for me. I always like to maintain that certain, how do you say it, air of mystery.




Or maybe that's just the burrito I had for lunch.

if you are on the PC he can be fixed with the console so you can marry him and get all of his random dialogue back - plus have him smooch all over you and make you dinner.

In the console type:
addtofaction 000bd738 2

Thanks, but I only married him the first time around so I could keep him on a short, unpaid leash. Before that I would go do something on my own or get handed a different temporary follower by some quest and he would get bored or just dismissed and head back to Riften. Got tired of having to go rehire him so I finally just pulled the trigger and made an honest man out of him.

Got a mod now that lets me tell him we're just going to chill at home for a while, he relaxes and makes himself at home, then I can leave and do what I need to do alone and he doesn't seem to get bored from standing around waiting. He's always still there when I get back. And with this character I haven't done any of the stuff that automatically dismisses a follower for you (man I hate when that happens) so there's been no need to marry him just to avoid losing his services. So he's back to being my snarky little Magigolo, no conjugal strings attached.

This is the most romantic thing I've ever read.