Favorite Random One Liner from NPC? : V - Skyrim

» Thu Jun 07, 2012 1:35 am

Just heard this one:
Vex (arguing with Delvin over the value of a recent 'job'): "You idiot. He said firs not furs. It was a damn logging caravan."

Recently I overheard a Forsworn (while working over a Nord corpse on a table) saying something along the lines of: "Nord skulls make good axes. About all they're good for."

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 11:56 pm

A Battle Born referring to a Grey Mane as "A hide wearing ax dragger". Made me LOL.

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 4:17 pm

Anything but the arrow to the knee line

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 6:17 pm

'Must oil the mother soon. Get all the hard-to-reach places.'

Seriously bethesda. Who made up Cicero? That guy is really creative or a serious nutcase.

» Thu Jun 07, 2012 2:18 am

If you choose to destroy the Dark Brotherhood random guards will say: "I coulda went in that sanctuary and cleared it, but I was sick that day." (might have not got it exactly) I died laughing.

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 1:39 pm

If you choose to destroy the Dark Brotherhood random guards will say: "I coulda went in that sanctuary and cleared it, but I was sick that day." (might have not got it exactly) I died laughing.

Yep, so did I! Seriously hysterical. Also love the "We're so dead" line. And damn it, I saw a completely NEW line today, VERY funny, and now I can't remember it! Phooey on 65 year old grey cells....

» Thu Jun 07, 2012 12:00 am

If you choose to destroy the Dark Brotherhood random guards will say: "I coulda went in that sanctuary and cleared it, but I was sick that day." (might have not got it exactly) I died laughing.

Yeah, that one's great. :lol:

I love the way they pause: "but...I was...sick that day." I think that's where the pauses are - haven't heard it in a while because on the character I've been playing lately the Penitus Oculatus cleared it out for me. :dry:

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 11:54 pm

"I was the best soldier in the Stormcloak army, until i took a sword through the chest" - Some dude from some city (Havn't played the game in 3 months).

» Thu Jun 07, 2012 12:30 am

"I was the best soldier in the Stormcloak army, until i took a sword through the chest" - Some dude from some city (Havn't played the game in 3 months).

One of the two punks who harass the Dark Elves.
A lot of people have been wounded in the war but he keeps whining about it. He seems like a total [censored] like so many other low-class Stormcloaks.

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 4:43 pm

Sometimes when you get killed by boss in dungeons the moan about.... "why do people think they can just leave trash lying about".

» Thu Jun 07, 2012 2:22 am

One of my favourites comes again from a guard. A Dragon had just attacked Falkreath for about the eighth time on one of my playthroughs, and a guard who helped me fight the dragon walks up to me and says "My cousin is out fighting dragons, and what do I get? Guard duty."

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:11 pm

One of the two punks who harass the Dark Elves.
A lot of people have been wounded in the war but he keeps whining about it. He seems like a total [censored] like so many other low-class Stormcloaks.

He isnt a stormcloak. And no, stormcloaks dont talk like him.

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 6:05 pm

"3 twos? What was he thinking? Never saw me pull that ace out of my boot"

or something like that. You're gonna hear it a lot if you play a sneaking character.

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 10:16 pm

Although you never actually hear her say it, Astrid performing the Black Sacrament. Burnt and dying

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 3:18 pm

Festus Krex: I go up to my target, introduce myself...then burn off their face and run like hell. Not exact but something along those lines.

yeah thats my favourite, he tells you to do that instead of sneaking around everywhere

» Thu Jun 07, 2012 2:09 am

I think mine is from Cicero - If I come across a singing bird, I'll break its neck before it's heard.

May not be the exact quote, but close enough.

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 1:15 pm

This isn't a one-liner, but it's the first time I've heard it. I was in Riften, on the lower walkway, just outside the door to the Ratway, when I decided to look into the barrels there. I opened one on the left and found snowberries. At that moment, a woman above in the market (not sure who) said, "What's he doing?"

Drifa responded, "Probably looking for food."

That killed me!

One of my favorite lines from Grelka is, "C'mon, c'mon! The sooner you buy something the sooner I can get drunk!"

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 12:31 pm

Not exactly a one liner, but...

Paarthurnax- "Do you know why I have chosen to live on this mountain?"
Me- "Because dragons like mountains?
Paarthurnax- "Hmmm. This is true."

Haven't got that far (I delay the main quest like crazy, or start a new char), but this made me laugh. That right there is top notch dialogue.

» Thu Jun 07, 2012 2:15 am

Killed by a Bandit Chief who then says something like "Why do people always leave their trash lying around?" That one hurt.

But "What do you need, handsome?" from a Vampire Mistwalker after she killed me was just...unsettling. But at least somebody thinks Dunmer are good looking.

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 10:14 pm

"It'll be so much easier to rob you when you're dead!" :lol:

Oh, bandits. You act so confident towards someone shooting fireballs at you.

» Thu Jun 07, 2012 12:44 am

My charater is Nord. Ulfric's guy still says ..."hey forigner, why would you want to join us?"... I just look at him WTF?

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 3:04 pm

One of the guards in Whiterun says to me when I belong to the Circle: "Look you're going to have to do something about that dog. The people around Jorrvaskr are complaining about the howling all night."

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 12:28 pm

A bandit killed me while i was a werewolf, and then told me to put some clothes on :lmao:

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 12:56 pm

A couple of the jarls say "You're not as dumb as you look"

» Wed Jun 06, 2012 11:49 am

I like the whole exchange between Saphhire and Vipir (the zipper?) the Fleet.