Random bandits and other enemies "You'll make a fine rug, cat!"

In Riverwood.... I picked up some steel ingots at Alvor's... a guard runs up to make an arrest, but then.... "Those were just laying there? Nice find!"

And those two who keep harassing the dark elves in Windhelm? All you gotta do is tell the one oaf when he does it right in front of the dark elves, "I don't like your attitude." and punch his lights out. He goes down in one punch. He never hassles them again. He'll go into their tavern and stands there in silence.

A rather unsuccessful character I created failed miserably against a bandit leader. As she looked at his corpse she commented, "you don't look so good. Are you sure you're feeling OK?" (or something to that effect).
I guess he was a little peaky from the bonebreak fever he picked up from an encounter with a bear, but the bandit's warhammer made more of a mess.

My favorite by a guard at Whiterun Jarl's hall:
"I am not a man, I am a weapon in human form, ...." missed the last part as I was walking away and did not hear him finish it but it might have been "unsheathe me" or something like that. Sounded good as it had the Terminator accent.

''I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee.''

Sorry I just had to.

Said to my Khajit:

"You remind me of my neighbor's cat: I killed it, too!"

The former Stormcloak's sword to the chest, anyone from the Dark Brotherhood, and the guards"i've got to thinking, maybe I'm the dragonborn, and I just haven't realized it yet." Right before you fus ro dah them off the walkways of Markarth

M'aiq the Liar

M'aiq does not understand what is so impressive about shouting. M'aiq can shout whenever he wants.

Igrod Ravencrone at the embassy; "old people can get away with anything". Or something like that.

Sven's mother when I was checking barrels in Riverwood, "Look at her, rummaging through refuse. Wonder what shes lost besides her mind".

I can't believe this is in the game! Brilliant!

My favorite; Atub the Orc in Largashbur: "From a Daedra of course!"

It was all the more funny because only half an hour before, I had finally unlocked Daedric Armour smithing, but it turns out you need a Daedra heart to make anything in this class. So I had been wandering around, thinking about where to find those, since there had been precious few in the game so far. Then I run into Atub and when the dialogue option came up so ask her where to find such a heart, I was all chuffed. I though the game would hand me the answer on a silver plate! Yess...

I had the "Is that fur coming out of your ears?!" line for the first time as well, yesterday. And; "Take a bath, you smell like a wet dog!" Hugh...

Lol, I heard that on this character, but never before on my previous werewolves. Well, random is random.

I still find it funny when somebody asks, "Why are you doing that?" or says "Be careful!" when I bump into some havoc item. In Vlindrel Hall, I was trying to position something on the table, and Argis growled, "Put that down!" Usually I hear that from people when I'm dragging a corpse to a convenient disposal venue.

Long before I learned about fences, I had a glass war-axe that somehow was marked stolen. So I dropped it on the floor in the Silver-Blood Inn in Markarth. Weeks, maybe months later, it's still there, still marked as stolen. So I pick it up and that prompted Aela to issue a sharp rebuke, "You could've asked!"

Jarl of Whiterun's son..... "Oh great! Another wanderer here to lick my father's boots!"

ROFLMAO!!! I never heard that... it is AWESOME!

From the guy sitting in the inn in Riften if you're playing as an Imperial.

"Make it quick Imperial, I can hardly stand the downwind of your stench"

Anything M'aiq The Liar says.

Brynjolf's potion sells man lines are good. Also Ohdaving's scream when Farendar(or whatever he's called) tries to run experiments on his backside!

If you're arranging things in your house, sometimes your housecarl will say, "Put that down!" Kinda funny since sometimes the housecarls will bump into things in your house and you have to clean up after them.

Passing a guard while casting spells they might say, "whoa whoa whoa watch the magic!"

Heard another one today as an orc bandit chief killed my character. "You need a sharp blade to cut through all that fat." I was insulted!

While sneaking near a monk, "Well, you're not very good at that yet. But keep practicing!"

When stealing from the jarl:

"I am going to kill you! Yaaaargh!"

I die.
"May your family have good health."
Or
"Be careful."

I love this thread, such great stuff. Sometimes I just stand in front of a guard and let him go through all his options....they just keep talking, you can be up getting a drink or something

When I had Volendrung on my back a Whiterun guard said "That is one big hammer."

Don't remember whether he also whistled at that, or just when he remarked on my dragonscale set.

I like it when I firebolt a bandit and they scream "IM ON FIRE!!!". The voice acting is awesome.

I like that one too. What's even funnier is the guard that says it is the only one that has http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FacelessGoons.

"No lollygaggin'" from a guard as I'm sprinting past him.

Farengar in Dragonsreach, if you approach him with the spell Candlelight active, "Fantastic!"