Huh your confusing me ? Why I want to be the opposite six or the school stuff?

Sorry I really need to proofread my post.

I meant to say its great about you opening up to your dad. I was asking about the consoling itself is it about starting the process of being transgendered (Is that the right word?) or what?

I'm not complelety sure but what I do know it's might find out why I want to be the other six and my feelings about that. I think the starting process would start when they believe that I believe that I truly want to be the other six . Because what I'm told it could just be emotions of a teenager. But I feel strongly about being the other six and for my whole life I could never look into the mirror and say I like that or I am comfortable with myself( which I was never comfortable about my body and self).

I don't normaly post here, but aww what the hell there's a first time for every thing.

I've desided that useing both of my computers are like pulling teeth...which I can't quite properly make that anology because I have never had any teeth pull..in fact last week I found out I never had wisdom teeth (I was quite happy) also the only area in my room that is remotely clean is my desk and my bed (thought I'd share that for absolutely no aparent raisin.

Ghost

edit: hehe I snuck in a futurama reference.

Well Im gonna start my own Lurkers Lair with BLACKJACK And hokerS
Ah screw the Blackjack
You know what forgot the whole damn thing.


I still in alot of pain from the kidney stones and Im supposed to pass the other one soon it won't be fun. But I've haven't done really anything in a week or so. I haven't felt the motivation to play any of the new games or old games I have. Maybe Im getting abit sick of video games.

Arrrgh. I hate this winter. Worst winter inna while. I'm so soddin' tired and angry I can't believe I haven't flipped out completely. Still, I got my punching bag, it's helping me retain what scrapped sanity I got. I got a lowsy job, a lowsy home and these things are making me inclined to believe that other parts of my continued operation are to some extent, lowsy as well. Had my eye on a job since last year (well, you know) and finally there was a chance to get in, but didn't, even with my 'connections'. Sometimes, I just wonder why I bother.

Still. Hope. Wonderful thing. Got whiff of an amazing apartment which costs a lot more, but is a stone's throw away from my home, and top floor of the building. So chances are I'd have some moderate per centile chance of NOT having noisy neighbours from hell, least of all, living above me. Also found out that there's possibly a job I'd qualify for at 'round here parts, with proper pay. I have some minute experience from the task required, but I'm still dreading I'll never hear from them again. Big firm, real professional-like, too. All too much asked that I'd get the apartment and the job...still, one can dream. The alternative is staring at the ceiling at night and making unhealthy imagination work and staring blindly forward during the day while the mind has escaped the corpse, who's busy either mopping up stuff or scrubbing toilets. Hell, I'll take a shot of hope anyday over that. I just wish this damned situation would start to be on the up-and-up, since I'm quite certain that if I haven't hit rock-bottom, then I've delved thru the bottom into some subterranean nightmare.

I'm bleeding tired. Disgruntled. I just fell into bed after work today, got up three hours later with all places a'aching. At least I've got a breather on the coming weekend. Still gotta focus on school work, too. Just never seem to find time for that stuff. Hell, more still than art. I haven't really been drawing in ages. Yesterday I picked up the pen and managed some few lines, but that's all. Depressing, really.

*Goes over with a groan* I want to sleep. Eight hours of sleep. End of whine.

Also, Fishy- surprised a tad, but still...Hell, I don't know what to say. I don't excel at advice, to be frank. Thought this thru for a long time, have you?

Hi all Lurkers. I'm glad winter is here because it was very hot here in Texas. I could do without the mountain cedar though. :violin:
I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

Arg! Graduated highschool back in 07, finally upgraded my marks and went back to do courses to apply for university. I start filling out my application and apparently I need a second language at the grade 11 level to even apply. Thing is, I was in French Immersion up to and including grade 10. Sure it's not technically grade 11, but from Kindergaten to grade 10 every single class I had was in french. I'm pretty damn sure I can speak the language. Not to mention things they learn in French 11, we were learning in elementary school. But after spending ages on hold to admissions at the university, speaking, reading and writing the language isn't good enough, unless it has an 11 tacked on there somewhere. So I've spent the rest of the day bouncing back and forth from the Ministry of Eduction and my old highschool trying to see if theres a way I can have a Grade 11 credit added on to my transcript... What a joke.

hi all. just popping in to say hi and to say i feel like, well, i think i'll just let the emots do the talking:
:ahhh: :cold: :unsure: :confused: :brokencomputer: <_< :banghead:

What's important is you talk about it and be remarkably open. Respect. I reckon you aren't as unusual as most people make out.

I don't really know what advice I can give, since I've never really experienced your situation, but I guess I can try. You've gotta try to stay as positive and upbeat as you can, even when you feel like absolute crap. Negativity really is off-putting, especially to prospective employers - if you walk in thinking that you've already lost the job, then you're right - you won't get the job. Sure, id you're always pessimistic you'll never be disappointed, but you'll also never achieve anything. If you need to, try to get a doc prescribe you some anti-depressants or something for job interviews and the like, if you really feel down (which it sounds like you do).

As for the sleeping problem - your brother seems like a nice guy (from what I've seen here), have you considered aking to stay with him for a little while, provided that he doesn't live with you or have similarly hellish neighbors? You could also try sleeping pills (if you haven't already), although that's a bit of a temporary fix. I think that moving is the only real long term solution, short of shipping your neighbors to Russia (which I don't condone), even if it means that you have to stretch your budget.

The most important thing you can do is take some calculated risks, do something, rather than just trudging through a life which doesn't satisfy you at all. As you've said, you can't really lose anything from here, so you can only go up, and you can only do that through risk. Stay positive, even if only on the outside, get help from people like your brother who genuinely care about you, and move the [censored] away from the [censored]s like your neighbors who are making your life unpleasant and the job which you clearly hate. When you're getting some real sleep things will probably look better, and you'll certainly feel better.


Anyway, I hope that long-winded chain of advice helps in some tiny way. I wish you luck with your job application and with moving away from the neighbors.

If all that fails you are getting an education! Don't lose sight of the end your means are leading to. Good luck with everything. I'm rooting for you always!

Many thanks for trying to help. I know I should try and keep a positive mindset, but bigod, sometimes it just seems that everything I try ends up flat on the ground with a face full of dirt. Or worse. *Sigh* I've now taken a more active stance in my job hunt, but I find that the current job climate is more unfriendly than ever, people losing jobs all over the place. Even trainee jobs are supposedly going to be a lot more scarce, come summer. And I don't even have my current contract extending that far ahead.

Still, always gotta keep on going forward, in hopes that there's something positive waiting at the end of the run. As for meds, I don't take any. Can't stand the idea of doing so, sorry. Won't go into detail about that. Plus, they're very expensive on the long run. I'm making do with ear plugs, now, but I lose sleep as the damned things slip out of my ears every now and then. <_<



True. That is the one and only thing I got going for me now. I got all my savings riding on this, I'm fiercely determined to get thru it...dunno what the heck I'll do if I fail this. I don't even want to think that as a possibility. Still, given how pretty much everything has been a minor fiasco after high school from social to other aspects of my life, I can't help but to dread sometimes...and my sleeping problem is draining all the juice outta me. Back's been acting up again, although helping my brother move furniture and taking up heavier exercises prolly has played it's part, too. But I feel worse about my job. I kept telling me for three years that I wouldn't ever do this, but there I am...'cleaning technician' or whatever the hell they call it. Still doesn't chance what the job entails.

I just gotta tough it out thru this year. Possibly, I won't see a well-paying job yet, but that doesn't bother me. I've made do with little so far. As long as I got my roof, my food and my internet, I'll manage. What I just need is a new home, one where I can kick back after a hard day's work and just relax. I can't do that in my current 'home'. I need to get out of this place, as soon as possible. Thankfully, as mentioned, my brother offers me asylum again this weekend. Maybe that'll help my wrecked nerves get back in shape.



Still, all things considered, I'm feeling a lot better after merely having one decent night of sleep (and believe me, the standard for 'decent sleep' has been lowering for months) behind me. Still aching, but I'm no more gloom and doom than usually, at least for tonight.





Insomnia's getting to me, I'm seeing ghosts! :blink:

*sigh*...my best friend dropped a bit of a bombshell on me yesterday when she informed me that she and her boyfriend'll be leaving Toronto for Montreal at the end of this month. She's been my co-worker/boss, closest confident (through a number of very testing things that've happened the last few months), and someone that I've hung around on a daily basis at work and outside of work, seeing as how we share pretty much the same passion for health, fitness and training.

I've been a sad bottle of depressed since yesterday afternoon. I usually don't grow really close to people, so this one is really stinging quite a bit right now....gah. Now that I think about it, after my break-up a little while ago, it feels like I've actually lost two best friends in two months.

I know how you feel, I've only grown close to one person and life seems to get worse when she's not around, atleast it gives me something to look forward to.

Well I'm playing football again and we have pride day tomorrow! I have to get to my school at 6 am and then we do a bunch of sprints and other crazy stuff until school starts. Woooooooh. I'm going to die.
Nothing really else going on in my life besides school.

*drops in*

It's best to get this done as soon as possible. If your counselor/therapist is smart and/or experienced (often, they aren't very aware of transgender/transsixual issues so you might have to do this yourself), they'll refer you to a specialized gender therapist who will screen you and such in order to get your letter for hormones. Otherwise, you might have to do some researching yourself. I can tell you right now, it is a VERY lengthy process that takes months, but if you're willing to stick with it, it's completely worth it. The process is so long mostly due to liability; i.e. doctors don't want their asses sued to high heaven.

I know I could look at your profile but how exactly old are you? I'm guessing you're younger than 18 but i thought I would ask.

Not much going on with me beyond being busy with class and disgruntled with some of the student organizations I'm in. Still been too busy to call my therapist about getting a referral... oh well.

Edit: Didn't see that you're in Turkey, not familiar with the laws over there, especially concerning TS/TG issues. D'oh.

First day of classes yesterday. I'm taking four this semester - two science courses (biology II and intro to environmental science), two liberal arts courses(poetry and 3D design). Everything is going okay, but I just don't see how I'm going to start connecting with people on campus to make friends. I'll have to try the Bio club, I guess.

Muffin's muzzle was very swollen today - I can't believe my parents didn't notice! I was really worried, and we called the vet about it, but the assistant didn't seem overly concerned and said it was probably a spider bite. I dunno. I'm still worried about it (Muffin is 13 going on 14), but it's like my mom isn't concerned at all, and my dad still hasn't noticed. Anyway, my mom and I got vet appointments for the dogs this Saturday (they need their Rabies shots this year anyway).

Has this happened to anyone else? You know - you're super worried about something, but nobody else seems to take it seriously?

I haven't been doing much gaming. I picked up "A Dog's Life" for the PS2 yesterday, but I haven't tried it yet. I hope it'll be fun like the P.A.W.S. game from so long ago.

And I've almost eaten up all my peppermint bark. I was looking for it to buy all winter, and ended up finding a tin of it not at the grocery store, but at TJ Max last week.

Does anyone else watch Big Cat Diary on Animal Planet? I love that show!

I'm not from Turkey just I loved the country. But I am 16 though and I want to go to the therapists ASAP . I'll see where it goes my mom has to reschedule my appointment, dang regents !

Oh, fishy, do you honestly think being the other gender will make you comfortable with yourself? I'd love to swap, really, maybe even for a day. I dunno. I just don't think you being female will make you any more confident.

It's more than just that it's kinda complicated , trust me I have my reasons.

Alrighty then. Good luck. :thumbsup:

Hai, I'm Lydia. I live in a tiny town you've never heard of in England and I like dancing and funny stuff. I'm still kinda new to the forums and I don't think I ever introduced myself... This is like a mini introduction to Lurkers Lair I guess. I've nevrr been on any other forum so I might be a bit nooby at times.

Since you're new to the whole forum thing, I will not divulge what I truly feel about this comment. But be warned! I would have had a few choice words for you.

Fishy, good luck. Yeah.

Ok, thanks. Where are you from then? I know in US you have to have parent's consent to get hormones, get sixual reassignment surgery, etc, but in other countries 16 is the age of, well, being able to not have to have parental consent. It's soooo complicated, because some countries have different rules concerning it, even though we're all supposed to be using the same Standards of Care. Apparently the best Standards of Care in the world is in Netherlands, but that's not surprising since every damn transgender study comes from there.

Honey, if someone wants to be a chick or dude, they've probably thought it over a loooooong ass time. You don't just wake up and say "Hey, I want to be a dude/chick." You really don't. It's a more complicated process. Some people, like me, have pretty much been born that way and have identified as the six they weren't born as since they could talk. For others it's a process of realization. Some start out merely cross dressing and realize all along it wasn't just cross dressing, they deeply desire to not just adopt the clothing and mannerisms of the opposite six temporary, but permanently. It really doesn't matter when they reached that conclusion, since it was there all along, but lurking under the surface. Some of us are just more blessed (or cursed, depending on how you see it) than others when it comes to those things.

I [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] loathe http://www.wizards.com/magic/magazine/Article.aspx?x=mtg/daily/deck/334. After my third matchup and loss against it, I'm certainly get stuff against that piece of [censored]. And the worst part, it knocked me out of top 8 at my local tournament and possibly doing a little more. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I [censored] loathe that [censored] piece of [censored] deck.



Sorry for all the censored tags going around but I'm utterly pissed to lose to that thing.