pros/cons
Pros
NCR.
-bring order and safety
-fight slavery
- equal rights to women
- increases trade in owned settlements (thanks to connection with crimson caravans)
Bring order and safety? I dunno, you might want to do Cass' companion quest before you say that.
Also, the Crimson Caravan coming in is not automatically a good thing. Again, see Cass' companion quest.
And I'd argue against them ending slavery, given FO2 and their inaction in this game. Remember, in FO2 they turned a blind eye towards slavers right outside their walls. In this game, they watch Cottonwood cove but refuse to send troops to clear the place out because it's a low strategic priority.
CL
- bring order
-Strict drug control
You're forgetting how CL doesn't have as high taxes as the NCR, and how Caesar cracks down on corruption a lot more than the NCR does.
NCR
- over tax
-sometimes abuse power
-occasionally corrupt government
- tries to expand to quickly
CL
-women treated unequally
-Keep slaves
- destroy all who oppose
-destroy independence
- treats non members with extreme cruelty
- treat own members cruelly (like the burned man, since he couldnt take back the damn, he was set on fire and thrown in the grand canyon)
You should also add "destroy independence" and "destroy all who oppose them" to the NCR as well. Remember Bitter Springs? Men, women, children. Heck, remember that part in Boulder City where you negotiate with the Khans only for the NCR to issue orders that the Khans to be killed anyway?
overall the NCR seems like the lesser of the two evils
Yes, but it's certainly not totally clear cut "Brotherhood versus Enclave" like in FO3.

Legion = Evil
NCR = Neutral
Followers of the Apocolypse = Good
Brotherhood of Steel = Apathetic
Enclave = Apathetic
I dunno. I'd say that the legion is neutral leaning towards evil, while the NCR is neutral leaning towards good. The FoTA are too naive for my tastes, and the Enclave is pretty clearly evil as an institution. Look at their actions in the games:
Fallout 2: Buying slaves to use as experimental test subjects. Rounding up people for a slave labor force to excavate Mariposa. Attempted genocide via FEV deployment.
Fallout 3: Burning people alive if they don't submit to "genetic purity screening." Attempted genocide via FEV deployment.
That attempted genocide really bumps them into the evil category, IMO.