The point is that you're not forced to complete the quest.
Of course not, but that doesn't mean expecting players to ignore quests in their ever-filling log book (I think more than half the quests in my log currently are junk, and I have a number of quest items stuck in my inventory that I won't be able to get rid of because I'm not doing the associated quest), or avoid potential quest givers at all costs, is good design. It's pretty bad design for role-playing, and it makes navigating through the log book (to actually find what I want to do) slow and cumbersome.
If I'm not going to be doing a quest, there's no reason for it to be in my quest log. If I say no, I mean no. If you're going to give me a choice, don't second guess it. It's damn annoying.
It is an opportunity that has been offered to your character, and in the game like in real life lots of things come up that you do or do not want anything to do with.
Then I should be free to pass up said opportunities, not be incessantly reminded every time my quest log is opened.
Wanting the ability to abandon quests at the cost of a real lot of programming that gums up the working of the game
As previously mentioned, many quests already have the ability to fail, they just lack the option for some characters to do it properly, and it railroads people into finishing quests a specific way because it lacks many reasonable choices that should be available (and of those options it does have, they all lead to the same result anyway; yes = yes I'll do it, no = yes I'll do it later).
it's very clear that the gimping and "rule making" each of us practices in the leveling of our characters in this game superceeds logic or rational thought.
Yes, because why should we worry about properly role-playing in a role-playing game? We should all be meta-gaming and playing OOC because they couldn't properly design the quest system.
THe only point I've felt "railroaded" was in that I apparently *had* to go along with Brynjolf's initial bit of thieve's guild skulduggery in order to get down to the Ragged Flagon and pursue the main storyline quest. There may have been some other option but I don't see how it would've been doable without joining the thieves' guild if you weren't willing to go online and look up spoilers to complete the quest.
I had the same issue with The College of Winterhold. Without using out-of-game knowledge, it's almost impossible to complete the MQ without joining them.