Okay, so just recently I went to Virginia to visit a friend. I only stayed for a two days. When I was there, me, my friend and his wife were at a local restaurant, and when the waitress asked for my confirmation on my order, I replied "Yesmaam". She snapped at me, making a scene in the restaurant, ranting about how I don't need to be giving her any smart-ass remarks, and she doesn't appreciate the attitude. I kind of snapped back, but cooled off quick. My friend then tells me that people find that being called "maam" or "sir" is disrespectful. Why is this?

Also, I noticed that college football isn't near as big of a deal as it is in the South.

Just weird how different the two societies are. The town I was in, all the kids looked very hipster-like and almost stuck in the 70's.

Anyways, just an odd experience. Wanted to know why calling someone "sir" or "maam" is so bad, it is taught as common courtesy in the South.

I've never been in the south or anywhere near it, and I've never heard of this. Maybe it's more a Virginia thing than a "north" thing. The closest I can think of is I've seen some women who didn't like to be called "ma'am" because they think it makes them sound old, but it was hardly any kind of social rule that other people would know about.

It's not disrespectful unless you use it in a sarcastic way. I think that waitress needs to stop accosting her customers though, especially for something so minor.

Apparently it was a "sarcastic, smart-ass remark".

I've never known anyone to take "ma'am" or "sir" to be offensive, but if someone calls me "honey", it makes me cringe.

I'm from the South, we've always said Yes Ma'am and No Ma'am, Yes sir and No sir. Oh, and yes, college football is the greatest thing ever.

:nod:

...How? Sounds like a normal reply to me. :blink:

Maybe she was upset because you didnt tip her for all the effort she made walking over to your table.

Sounds like she had a stick up her ass and your friend doesn't know what he's talking about. My good friend went to Virginia Tech for 3 years and I live in Southern Delaware and "ma'am" and "sir" are always acceptable.

What would she rather you say? "Yes lady!" "Yes, woman." "Yes, miss." "Yes, female." "Fo' sho'."

The North and South are so different it's scary. Clothes, accent, way society is run, it's so interesting. The Civil War ended over a century ago and remnants of the Union and the Confederacy are still around. Pretty cool.

I'm from Virginia and saying Yes Ma'am isn't disrespectful. Don't take it personally; must have been the waitress.

In New York, it is common for people to call each other "sir" and "mam". It was probably just the waitress.

On another note, is Virginia usually considered to be northern? I always thought of it as being southern.

As a Western Canadian, Yes Ma'am is perfectly fine.

In Canada we have the CFL. It's very popular here. I on the other hand, can't stand it.

Virginia was a Confederate state, it's not really as Southern in culture as it's neighbor West Virginia but it's definitely better suited to the Southern label than Northern.

She likely thought you where being a smartness about it but she was likely being either just plain ignorant or already annoyed. We don't use a ton of pleasantries up north especially in my region.It's not like we are rude either, please and thank you are common enough.

Well to be honest the South is flooded with good college teams while the North has the majority of big market NFL teams.



Agreed on this, always thought of Maryland as the border between North and South.

I've met a few people who say "thanks, boss" or "here you go, boss" when I buy stuff at a counter. It's not rude, as I know what they mean, but it does come off a bit sarcastic.

My response would be telling her to shove her order pad and pen where the sun don't shine.

Anywhere north of Tennessee is "North" to me. I'm from Alabama.

My good friend whom is a little service than me does not like being addressed as "sir", he takes offense to it.

All southerners do is name their children Quentin and then go and drink in coffee bars until they die.

I know there are some women out there who object to Madam due to its... err... Career implications.

Beats naming your children Stan and working in a coal mine in South Shields until you die.

Maybe I'm to polite even by southern standards. I'm not shy about unthinkingly saying 'If I may' and 'My pleasure' and 'Would you kindly' or a few 'Sir's and 'ma'am's. >_>

WHAT IN GOD'S NAME?!

I've lived in the south all my life...and...this is just disturbing. I know people that would smack you upside the head for improper manners, not for proper manners.