Go cast your fancy magic someplace else.

i like Lydia asking me "you lost?" in my own home in Whiterun.

+1

My personal favorite is right at the beginning of the game when you are running through Helgen with Hadvar and you run past General Tulius and for whatever the reason Hadvar takes more then 5 seconds to get a certain distance away from him Tulius says "Run you idiot!" haha I love that one!

The reaction J'zargo gives you when you tell him, "Yes I have." after he asks you if you've already mastered the expert level destruction spells. I like taking Antonio Banderas him down a notch

Bandit : "I'll mount your head on...."

I activate the beheadding animation, Bandit's head goes flying.

Me : "Ohh, the bittersweet irony, aye?"

"Can you conjure me up a warm bed to sleep in?" - a guard

I had a Raise Zombie spell equipped while in a shop. The owner looked at me and said "This is not gonna end well." And I lol'd.

I had that NPC say this about my Khajiit. He has white fur, so I thought it was hilarious.

During the quest line of Winterhold will the guards throughout Skyrim give condescending comments on the mages. All quite funny.

Me: Hey a person on the road!
Me: Hello wandering orc dude!
Orc Dude: Hello there I argh -falls over and dies-
Me: WTF ? -takes stuff-

Last night I passed by Anises's Cabin and talked to her for a second and then went into the cabin and read a book. While I was putting the book down, Anises (pretty sure her name is different) screams out "Hey you, stop it right there". I thought I was in trouble for reading her book and I quickly got out of the cabin and I see her cast a familiar and start flaming down some bandits. I helped her and we burned those baddies and then she said "See what you made me do"

Been playing same Char for 560 hours and thought I'd heard them all, then yesterday I had a guard say "Is That Hair Growing Out Of Your Ears?"

1st time I go into Riverwood I start rummaging through barrels (an old habit picked up in MW when there was sometimes good stuff to be found in them), and Sven's mother says, "Look at her rummaging through refuse. Wonder what shes lost besides her mind?"

*walk in a cave*
*Walk out, cave cleared*
Follower: A cave! Perfect hideout for bandits, or worse.

Reminds me of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CbxMDRcjoY

Necromancer in a cave full of bodies and gore spotted the body a dead companion (killed by me):

"A...a corpse! That's terrible"

Whats the hurry? or Hey, watch it! When you make a one shot sprint power attack with twohanders.

Spending a day smithing and enchanting to get better kit, I left Lydia waiting inside Breezehome.

I came back with some cool kit for her, exchanged it so she was better armed and amoured and left her there while I went to make some for me.

Lydia said, "Oh are we heading out?

Oh I guess I'll just wait here then"

Sounded just like my wife.

I had a few things that made me lol.

Kharjo saying "you bastard" to pretty much anything makes me chuckle

The curved swords line. the Sveetroll line.

During the "tour of the grounds" when you first go to the mage college.....
" Please keep your voice down when we go inside the dormitory..." or somthing along those lines....enter...
Me(looks at ceiling): FUS....RO DAH!!!


My favorite though caught me totally off guard. First time I played through the game. I was like lvl 12 or so, and was outside Whiterun sort of east of the stables a bit by the farms there. A dragon approaches roaring high in the skies from the north east. Starts attacking things i can not see up that way. So I take off running to engage.
As i approach the area, I find the dragon has been attacking that guard tower that is sort of NE of Dragonsreach. If you are unfamiliar with the tower, from the east, facing the front of it, it is rather tall. Going around the back there are some staircases that go up behind the walls there with a big opening as you get towards the top.
Anyway, as i approach the towers there i see the guards shooting arrows and the like. i watch the dragon fly to a nearby farm and breath fire on a poor cow there. by the time it flys up to turn around to come back to the tower, i am there by the guards. now, lvl 12 and not having any real archery skill, I was trying to hit it with Firebolts because the thing refused to land. I finally got it's attention, but it still wouldnt land and had depleted my health a good bit. so i ran around the front of the tower, and up the hill towards the back when I got a chance when the dragon flew up to circle around. it came around and hit me with a firebreath, putting me in great danger of defeat. So, i ran up those steps to hide behind the wall a bit to try to avoid its dragon breath for a bit to heal.

This is when I am totally surprised by a cut scene dialogue. Some escaped convict has run up from somewhere and gives me a dagger, and then threatens me, in the middle of this giant dragon fight! His dialogue was something like this...

Me, standing casting a healing spell....gets interupted and turned to engage this convict in conversation...
Convict: Here..take this! I will be back to get it later. And dont you dare think about betraying me, I swear I will kill you...BLAAAAAAAARGGGGG!!!!"

You see, just as he is finishing his threats to me, the dragon had flown over the wall behind me where I could not see it and did a massive fire breath on the convict and he bursts into flames and dies and falls backwards down the steps.
" I swear i'll kill you...(rawrrrgggggfirebreath all around us)...BlAAAARGGG(dies)"

So the dialogue cut scene ends, i am standing there like WTF and laughing my ass off. So I turn my attention back to the dragon, kill it off as it finnally lands in front of the tower so i can go stab it in the face.
I go back up to loot the body and see if that convict had a name or anything. As I approach, this guard runs up and asks if I have seen the convict. I bust out laughing again as he is standing dman near on top of the convicts dead body. I reply "he is dead" or something like that and he sheaths his sword and walks off.

My second character got to meet the convict and do the little side quest thing as intended, but it was not nearly as entertaining that way.

I left Breezehome in my (character's) underwear to do some smithing. When I walked up to the smithing table Adrianne Avenicci was standng there and said, "Put on some clothes, you damn fool!" I giggled for five minutes!

While having the Mace of Molag Bal the random guard will exclaim, "That mace... Get it away from me, get it away!".

Kinda spoilerish from a quest involving culinary and the Dark Brotherhood:

Me doing the DB Gourmet quest, as a Dark Elf, when I disguised as the Gourmet go meet my "assistant" she says: "It's just that, I'd never expect you to be a Dunmer! Must have been hard for you, the food in Morrowind is just..."

mine was actually part of the 100 ways to die in skyrim in the very beginning of the video where the old begger loses it over a chicken being executed for treason.

Hunnigbre Meadery

'If you aren't going to buy anything then piss off!" One of the workers inside the meadery, priceless

Ha! I was just going to type the same thing. Ran a gauntlet of Forsworn this evening and the Critical Charge one-hitted a few of them. "what's the hurry?" is one of my favs!

"So sorry, I'll make it more slow and painful next time!"

That priestess from Azura's Shrine when you get her as a companion:
"You n'wah!" - when burned from a trap.