Eola, when I healed her: "Huh?! ... oh! ... Hmmm, that actually feels pretty good."

Or during the cut-scene for slashing off an enemy's head, he says "Is that all you got?!"

After killing a dragon with the townspeople of Kynesgrove, 4 of them unfortunately had to depart early to Sovngarde due to his fiery breath. After the surviving members finally tire of staring at the dragon skeleton, they move on, until two of them pass closely to the dead bodies. Says the first: "Is he ...dead?", after which the second one wonders upset: "Who would do such a thing?". Cue the appearance of a guard. "You there, citizen. Do you know what happened here?" "Alright, but I'll be keeping a close eye on you". Sure, certainly don't direct it at the dragon skeleton laying exactly one feet behind you, which used to be a roaring dragon YOU helped defeat a few seconds ago.

The elf pretending to be a Stormcloak officer, when you spot him later in a Legion uniform: "Listen ... uh ... It's not what it looks like"

lol, whut? xD When does that happen?

Riften's market, found some rags inside my inventory and dropped them off... just to see the whole plaza start to fight for the rags and at the very end Mjoll screaming: I saw it first and started to swing that axe of hers all around, killing a beggar and the dark elf that sells fresh food.

My favorite character I play has completed the Winterhold quest. I was in Whiterun at Farengar's the court wizrds store, trying to see what sorts of soul gems he had.

After our transaction, he says something to the effect, "You should journey to the college of Winterhold if you have a talent for magic"

I wanted to zap him something fierce. I am the Arch Mage you twit!

"You know I got to thinking...maybe I'm the Dragonborn but I just don't know it."

J'zargo, my brother-in-arms, and my main source of comic relief outside of Sheogorath, has a few choice phases, made all the better by his Khajit accent....

"If someone sneaks up on us, I will smell them. Or, I will not. We will see...."

A few seconds later, we get jumped by an assassin from the Dark Brotherhood.

Colette Marence at the College. If you are in your undies she will respond with "YOU'RE NAKED!" Just the way she says it cracks me up. I will purposely disrobe and approach her to trigger that comment. Actually anything she says is classic. She is very misunderstood.

I have 2 .. one is from Morrowind. I'm going to post it anyways.

1. ugh.. your breath is foul. What've you been eating? or something like that.

2. In Morrowind i was using the Better Bodys *nvde version* so i totally forgot that the male would have you know.. showing.. .. .. .. anyways. So i ran naked and this guard tells me. "someone with your good looks needs more clothing" lol

Sheogorath, too many good quotes, both from Oblivion and Skyrim.

So... Im in belethors shop. I sell some crap to him. I start to leave...

Belethor: "next time... Come and see me at my shop... Got some things you'll just loooooove..."

Just to reiterate... Im in his shop...

Don't know what the Children in the english version say but in the german he said something like this.

Me: What are children doing here to have fun?

Child: I sneaked out one night and tried to push over the big bullock of the grey mares.

Go into any house or shop in the morning or the evening when its 'open' to go in. Talk to whoever is there and halfway through the conversation they start saying, "You need to leave." Or, "You shouldn't be in here."

Come outside and the door is suddenly locked. NPCs are funny. And crazy!

when I healed my orc LOVER (yah I said it) he told me that if I heal his scars that we are going to have a problem

and I was

http://alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/large/happy-epic-win-l.png

This:
http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/396347_327399940623648_100000609350843_1067602_1871072209_n.jpg
(I don't think this is a spoiler but it might be so be warned.)

I kill a man who was talking to a woman, and then the woman, while looking back and forth between me and the corpse, says: "I'm gonna find whoever did this..."

I love that one too!!

Also, when male NPC says to my female mage, "How would you like to enchant my sword?"

My probably funniest one was when i was fighting a dragon in Riverwood. It landed on the ground and when i was running towards it to slash it with my sword, a guard says: "A guard might get nervous, a man approaches with his weapon drawn."
I was about a few meters away from the dragon

I just laughed out loud and gave mental props to the devs when Jarl Balgruuf's wizard, Farengar Secret-Fire, comes right out and tells you he's sending you on a fetch quest. Too freaking funny.

Aye that is also my favorite

Colette: "YOU'RE NAKED!!!"

I like it when they kill you as a werewolf.

"Could you put something on, Anything."

"Well. You certainly are pretty enough. But stay away from my husband, Alvor."

I have a few.

Earlier today I punch one of those snobby kids in the face (it was the Whiterun Jarl's son). Mainly because I wanted instant heat on me for an achievement. Partially because the kids in this game are way too rude and arrogant.

The only guard who was in the room just stood there and said the following: "A fight!" "Get him! Kill him!"

I lol'd... then a different guard ran in and tried to arrest me.

Another one is when I killed a guard who was standing right next to another guard/// and that guard looked at the dead body and said "I'm going to find whoever did this". As I got close he immediately look at me and said "Psst... I know who your are. Hail Sithis!"

I loved it.

My favorite is whenever the assistant (i think) to the jarl in Windhelm says "I don't like talking to someone who holds their honor so cheaply." Then he talks to me with a happy tone just after.

Going through and picking up anything of value in Dragonsreach, I was carrying too much, so I dropped a crappy sword on the floor in the kids room. As I'm rummaging for stuff to pick up, a guard came up behind me (I couldn't see him), and engaged me. My character turned to look, and he said "Leaving a weapon lying around like that... someone could get hurt. That someone would be you."

I swear that was one of the greatest moments in gaming for me. Maybe it's just a coincidence that it was in a kids room where I left a weapon laying on the floor, but it was profound.

I wish all NPC interaction "just worked" like that.

I refused to pay a 50 gold fine so the (Arnold Shwartzeneggar sounding) guard says he'll just charge me with "disturbing the jarls peace" and walked away like a boss. 10 gold fine

The arrow to the knee was funny, but youtube nerds made it annoying.

Funniest one would have to be "I thought we had a deal!" by His whiny voice squirming out that quote made it even funnier.