By Odin's beard! This is beyond hilarity!

Why did you start dating a co-worker who's higher on the food chain then you?

That's like... Trying to get a hole in one with a flimsy stick... I guess..

It's not.. A good thing to do?

I would have to believe some of the women posting encouraging responses to be troll accounts...

Unfortunately I wouldn't believe that to be the case. Hens have a bad habit of forming up into a Super Voltron Of Stupid when one of their own is down.

Wait until you find out that she lurks this forum.

Man, I'm no help at all, then am I ?

I suppose they are just trying to show support... I seriously would have just told her it was a very bad idea, one week is too soon to do that, if ever. Getting a tattoo of someone elses face is not normal. That level of crazy is dangerous.

I seriously can't help but feel there is an air of Jed to this

Trouble for OP is it is his boss, now he is stuck between a rock and a crazy lady. D:

If being made to feel completely uncomfortable and having unwanted attention forced on me (which is what I gather from the OP's posts) is kinky.. then I'm as straight-laced as they come.


And for whomever said I was a guy - I'm not. I just have had enough experience with nutjobs to know that if they're truly crazy, your only hope is a restraining order.

Sounds like an awful sammich.

Aw, OP you'll be OK, you'll see.

You are dating a vampire. Embrace her.

Please, please let her tie you up and then jump your bones. Then break up with her. Pull the fire alarm.

But yeah, there's always a catch.

I've taken out a couple of posts - I don't think we can even joke about threats to kill on this forum.

To the OP, you have a choice:
1. Confess, file a sixual harrassment claim and spend a lot of time and energy fighting your case.
2. Quit your job.

You did a stupid, stupid thing and now you need to face up to it before the situation gets any worse.

I hope this is a fake!

As for the OP, you should probably start looking for another job. That's her only real leverage on you.

I know my last post is not helpful.
If you want to keep her be up straight up with her.
Say ' I don't need this sort of crap to get my attention. My job is just as important as you with me. If we want to play around a bit, do it off work in our spare time. But setting off a alarm is a big no no.'

Go bonnie and clyde.

Try not to play along with her games, like of she does the bag thing again either find the bag yourself or just leave without it, maybe she will get bored or something.

Maybe also show signs you don't like her, start ignoring her a bit (maybe not too much), don't start conversations with her and any you have that she starts maybe try to end them abruptly.

i have a lot of experience
offer to take her camping
go into the middle of the woods, bear trap her in the woods AND RUN, JUST RUN....FLEE THE COUNTRY

lol face the consequences of whatever you choose

Talk to her boss about her behavior, Talk to her boss about the fire alarm stunt, and go to the Union now. This woman clearly has no problem with coercing you into performing sixual acts, and is nothing more than a sixual abuser.

Probably should start recording her crazy behavior on some sort of pocket lint usb recording device

Go James bond mode on her?

Meanwhile in http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9O0k5RNhTt0...

I fear this is very close to reality.

ok.. she's upper management.. ambitious -likes to take risks- dominating, manipulative, -wants to crack 100K before she's 30-

your basic average class A personality in a size six..



the devil in prada.




So, present her with something scarier than she is..

..marriage and as many kids as soon as possible.





I'll bet TESFanner's 'nads she drops you like dead weight.
-because I'm obviously not betting my own here


Okay, then how to proceed..

Take her to lunch, make it a quiet -but not too quiet- place, you don't want her thinking it's bowchickabowbow time (thx for that one, Emz.. lmao)
..a park bench is good.

Bring donuts.. dunno why but I'm on a diet so humor me, m'kay?

Then at some point simply ask her where she thinks this relationship with you is going. Let her do the talking after that, and once she's done go with the marriage and kids..

or..

You can ask her whether your happiness is at any point relevant in this relationship in any equal proportion with her happiness..

..and if/when she says yes,

Let her know that you aren't (happy). And even if she doesn't want to see it now, soon it'll grow into a heaving bitter resentment towards her and eventually you won't care about her feelings, your job or anything anymore. And dump her by posting six videos on the company server..

Then having to quit it'll then undoubtedly drive you to burning her career, social life, facebook profile and whatever else you can think of. And say this with a deadpan face.


or..

tell her -flat out- that it's her actions that are dampening your happiness currently. That her idea of 'zany' is your idea of a custom tailored straight jacket and weekend visitations, -meds permitting- and that she either has to seriously take it down a notch -or three- or let you -and her- get on with your lives, and hopefully both find someone that 'fits'.

She might go bat [censored] crazy on you for a spell.. let her rant and threaten.

Once she calms down somewhat, take out your phone -push and arbitrary button, but make a show of doing so(*)- and tell her you recorded the whole conversation and will mail it to her boss is she even thinks of harassing you.

(*) or you can actually record the conversation..



okay, that's all the [censored] dear abby I got in me for one evening.. now I want a beer.

Just remember to check your local laws before doing this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VXpMIasxWU


Welp. Either you dominate her, or do as others have suggested and go to the top. If you want to win, you have to be willing to lose.

...But seriously. Sounds like you got yourself a risky wilderbeast here. Take that beast and TAME IT!