Part 2. Rude Awakening.

Something shook and woke him up. Lover-register mechanical droning and dripping water woke him up completely. He let out an ugh full of pain, clinched his teeth and opened his eye. He tried to move, but to no avail. He was still too weak from debilitating effects of, well, whatever it was that subdued him so quickly on the sidewalk and kept him feeble now.

Darkened room with barely any light had no furniture other than what appeared to be his bed and an air conditioner mounted higher up in the wall. Someone had to be really tall to reach it. The only light source was a broken line of thin florescent tubes that ran the perimeter of the room and mounted just about a foot or two under the ceiling. On the far end of the room, some twenty feet away from where he was, a double door. Pentagon-shaped, black with green and blue hues here and there, it reminded him of spaceship doors seen in sci-fi movies. Kind of like them worn but working door on the spacer freighters. The walls of the room were of the same material, metal presumably, with same coloring and wear and tear level. Yet, the overall impression the room gave was that of a living quarters, somehow.

“Good evening, [illegible].”

Someone’s voice snapped him out of his observations. Diamond-shaped and pink-colored eyes on a white metal-like face were staring at him. Surprised, he shuttered at first glance of it, his heart almost skipped a beat at a sight of bunny-like ears and nose, both of a pink-colored accents. A smile on the visage of this mechanical bunny-woman endeared him and put him at ease, somewhat.

“Don’t be alarmed. You are safe here. As for your shopping, we have someone doing it right now for you. They will bring the groceries home and leave a note to your roommate. You’ll be fine. Are you able to walk?”

He tried to get up, and surprisingly, he did.

“Yeah, I think so. But I am not going anywhere yet. Where am I, what is this place? Who are you? What happened to me? What time is it?” –he asked.

“It about quarter pass nine in the evening of the day after,” came the reply. “You’ve been out for some time. Unusual, really; typically they wake up after about two hours. And you are in the Headquarters. You have been selected to be a Moderator on the Bethesda Softworks Forums. That is if you accept.”

Ok, now it begun to make sense to him, kind of. But where is everybody else?

“Where are the others?” he asked.

”They are at their posts, of course” replied the creature.

“What, no welcoming committee for the new member, no cordial and grandiose reception?” he said with a barely detectable disappointment and yet relief in his voice. He got up, stretched, and massaged his hurting neck, hands and arms.

“Did you want one? We didn’t get that impression from how you acted and spoke on the forums,” the creature inquired in a rather confused tone. “You seemed very humble and never asking for trophies or anything like that” she continued, handing him a small tube-like container. ”Take this, it’ll take away the remaining effects of the sedation serum.”

‘Thanks,” [illegible] reached for the tube and took it. “And yeah, I did want a welcoming party. You know? If I am going to be a part of the group, shouldn’t you guys give me a grand initiation, a party, a round of applause, something? You know?” he mumbled gulping down the content of the turquoise-colored tube. He handed it back to her.

The creature, still standing by his bed, barely moving the whole time, took it. ”Does that mean you accept?”-she inquired while opening a compartment in the wall and throwing the empty tube down what looked like a narrow shaft. “Trash disposal,” she explained.

”If I do agree, do I have to become… well, whatever you all are?” –he continued his stretches, massaging his back and in exercise, moving his head right to left, up and down.

“Well, yes, kind of. But it’s not that bad. I’ll explain later. So, is that a yes?”

“Well…”-he hesitated.

“You don’t have to give up being human,” -she calmed his fears. “But you will have to undergo a transformation. But as I said, I’ll explain later. So?” the expression on the face of the creature changed to calm and open to listening, instead of stamped formal as it has been the whole time, changing only when she asked him something.

“Can I sleep on it?” he giggled to himself asking that, trying to keep up the most serious face he can master.

“I see what you did there, very clever. Let me check.”

Quick and dull buzzes from apparently within the creature. “Yes,” she said. “But tomorrow you will have to give us an answer. Come now, I’ll show you to your room.”-she started towards the door, motioning him to follow.

He trailed. When they were about half way across the room, his bed suddenly shook, burst into flames and in seconds, nothing remained but a steal frame. He jumped from surprise and sudden adrenaline rush. Sprinkles popped out of the wall and covered with water the area around the bed. A huge panel on the wall right above the bedframe moved up, revealing a large blower fan which then proceeded to dry the metal frame and the area around it. A metal obelisk popped up from the floor near the bedframe, spraying the area with air purifier that left a vanilla with a hint of cinnamon scent.

”Relax, just standard sanitary procedure for safely and health of anyone who may use this bed and room after you” -she calmed him down. [illegible] looked at her, raising his left brow, let out a sigh, rolled his eye, shook his head, shrugged and continued behind the creature. When they exited the room, he again heard the sound of the flame, water and an air purifier.

”It’s not just for the bed, it for the whole room. Just in case. You know?” –she explained. They continued down the wide, brightly lit, wooden-walled and carpeted hall to his room

Part 3. Trolls, mauve and twenty five percent.

In the morning of the next day they were standing by the elevator.

”It’s about two minutes up and you may feel a bit dizzy when we are back outside on the surface,“ she said handing him an oxygen mask sealed in plastic. “Take this. If you do open it but don’t need it or don’t use it, then just dump it. If you do use it, then burn it when you are done” she added.

They came out of the elevator couple of minutes later, stepping out to a narrow asphalted passageway between two buildings. They began walking towards hemisphere-like building at the end of the aisle. He wondered about the architecture, but concluded it must have been some special building. On the way there, the bunny-woman showed him a lever. He pulled it and a tile on the sidewalk slid off, revealing furnace-like hole. He discarded his used oxygen mask in. The mask was burned to a crisp in seconds. They continued their stroll, chatting. She kept on filling him in on needed details. He was absorbing what she was saying and somehow was also taking in the surroundings.

From what [illegible] can see, it was a fenced off complex, probably about half a mile by half a mile, with numerous building, asphalted or stone-laid roads and paths. Plenty of trees were scattered about, tall and short, bushy and thin. At the west end of the complex were what looked like recreation areas, with game fields and a small lake surrounded by a mini forest. Numerous metal walkways with glass walls and roof ran from top of certain building to either another building or to the one of a hemisphere-like shape. He concluded that this was the center building of the complex or maybe one of the control buildings, at least.

When they arrived, she slid her badge through the reader on the wall next to the door and big glass door opened. They walked into a large hall. Well lit and almost empty, decorated with metal, glass and wood materials and accents, the hall contained large white sign above the wood-trimmed reception desk. The sign informed you of the name of the company that the building belonged to. A number of chairs and a few glass magazine tables were set along left and right walls. A plant or two added to the atmosphere, giving the hall a more homely and informal feel. Softer kinds of music hummed. Modern style lamps hang to the left and to the right of the reception desk. Down pass the reception desk was a sets of stairs leading to second floor. They made their way to the stairs, passing the desk.

Behind the desk sat an owl. Well, no, half bird half man, kind of. Birdman, seems like. It was darker hue of moccasin and its feathers on parts of the wings, on the face and chest were of ivory, dark orchid and white-smoke colours. Its wings seemed to flop and down at intervals. Keeping up the exercise? The creature moved fast, balancing clerical duties and communication with others. The birdman greeted them with a smile and well wishing as they passed by and then returned to his duties. When [illegible] happened by the desk later that day, he noticed that the birdman was not there and instead, someone else took the spot. Change of guards? Maybe.

They went up the stairs and took the first door on the left, entering a room full of computers desks and other electronics. Computers were set up all over the room, but mostly to the left, each one of them on an individual round lighter hue of steel-blue tables. Next to the tables, an adjustable height cushioned wooden chair with metallic legs. Wide alleys between the rows and columns of the computers were carpeted, the rest of the floor wooden. Wooden shelves ran along the wall, some cushion-less chair under them, just in case. The right of the entrance door was taken up by counters and shelves and other utility and service equipment.

A coffer maker grumbled softly on one of the counters. Printer periodically produced a page or two. To the right of the entrance door, an abundantly wide and tall opening in the right wall led to an adjunct huge room with a fireplace, bookshelves, rugs, tables, couches and like accommodations.

Another adjunct room with an equally large size and equally big entry opening was filled with arcades, TV with game systems attached to them, exercise bikes and other exercise equipment, a billiard and ping-pong tables, weight sets, aquarium, sound system, 200-inch plasma television, and couple of computers.

They were all here, all the creatures, all instantly recognizable from their profiles.

Mage in dark green robe and with an aged staff in hand calmly moved about. Interestingly enough, a pack of cats would run into the room once in a while and the mage would conjure up a horse and then a jockey for it. The summoned soul would then mount the mare and herd the felines, moving them out of the room back to the hallway..

An elvin female with big brown eyes and auburn locks moved from computer to computer. “Must be updating the software?” the forumer wondered. Just like all others, she too would run in and out to the hall on some errand or use this or use one of the electronics(printers, scanner, memory card readers, plastic sealers, ect).
A shorter creature donned in green sandals, green helm and beige fleece strolled the room, occasionally checking this or that computer or visiting the adjunct room. The creature had a muted metallic-mauve blunt object in hand. Must be the Banhammer?

Blue and orange creature with spikes on the back was finishing up reloading the paper in the copy machine while, like all others, checking one computer or another. It slipped into the side room, turning on one of the gaming systems and sinking into a bean-bag chair.

A rider, always mounted on the horse for some reason, strode a lap around all three rooms on the top of the hour. Keeping the mare in shape? Maybe.

Black and white cat conversed with a green and golden-colored creature in a helmet, conversation carried on in soft and barely audible tone. Quirky creature with bulging blue eyes and spikes on its burly wood-brown body would join their company time to time.

A black cat with white fur on the face and white on its ears would converse about certain matter with a royal-blue seal that sat on the icy platform. The seal’s head looking up, it seems to have been studying some kind of monitoring screen above the computers. It did not move away from its computer very often. The feline, satisfied with the answers the seal gave, would returned to its computer or stretch for a nap on one of the couches in the adjunct room.

Occasionally, a golden-haired human female in black hat would tear herself away from the computer and take a stroll around the room or rooms. Time to time she would ball and twirl to the sound of the jazz music jingling from a 50s style jukebox that stood few feet away from a fireplace.

Sphere-looking creature would float computer to computer, aiding the elvin female in the computer maintenance tasks. The two would occasionally trade the job with masked man in indigo suite with white and aqua brogues. Red and black humanoid with thorns and spiked on its back, head and elsewhere on the body would occasionally flare up and at times, would aid the ninja in programming and maintenance.

Orangutan with a ear to ear grin, masked silver apparition, a white dog with a red whip, a slim male in black with light goldenrod outfit and a man with a beard and a brown hat jacket, they would all occasionally, alone or in group of two or more, zip in through the entrance door, run about the rooms, check the computers, and then whoosh out and be on their way to wherever they were rushing to.

Ecstatic mouse with a gift-wrapped block of cheese and man in formal black and white conversed with a canine sitting at the table, working on its laptop, explaining something to them, constantly fixing the glasses that would slide down its nose. A larger apparition was with them too, though it would often pry itself from the group and attend to the inquiries from the group at the computers.

A bear in a black suite, black gloves, timber with a goldenrod trim scepter in hand, a black regent between its ears and curious features moved in the direction of the just-arrived coworker and the moderator to be, should the forumer see it fit to agree. A male in a blue jersey and horned almost-full face helmet joined the bear. The two approached and greeted the forumer. Lagomorph female slipped pass the two and the forumer continued with the bear and man to the smaller room across the hall.

Shortly after he would slide out of that room and head downstairs, pass the front desk and in the direction of what appeared at first to be an elevator that sat on the right of the glass entrance door that he fist came into. The forumer boarded the glass box and the machine took off along the wall, taking him around the corner, zipping him out of the view and to his destination, somewhere down the corridor. Not even ten minutes later he emerged from around the corner, exited the lift, and, hauling a noticeable-sized box, made his way back to the bear and the man in the blue jersey.

The next day [illegible] was initiated. To the sound of applause and to the tune of the blaring techno(at his request), each of the creatures by the computers knighted him by adorning the newcomer in something that in some way complimented the outfit or gifting him this or that. Creature in green helmet and green sandals gifted the new Moderator with a boxset of games and a certificate worth fifteen minutes of holding the muted metallic-mauve marble Bannhamer.

Snacks and drinks arrived and the party continued…until handful of buzz-kill dings from numerous computers informed the crew that yet another troll had just pushed his limits and was looking to get it. Blue creature with spikes nodded in the direction of newly set up computer and the just-now initiated Moderator proceeded to put on his flame-proof vest, picked up his javelin and dove into his first handling of troublemakers. Shortly, [illegible] looked up and turned to the crew, verbalizing the name of the lawbreaker.

They just shrugged. ”He was told to stop, and numerous times,” someone replied.

Zap, fresh orange mark under the troll’s picture clued the rabble-rouser in that it was time to cool off or feel the wrath of muted metallic-mauve marble mallet.

and it only took 2 days to write

Dude, you don't break the code. Silence, remember?

..and you don't write three (3!) big-ass posts in a row. Ever!



Or even one.

Or even three little-ass posts in a row.

As for Summer's post about doing this because we love the forum, speak for yourself! I'm just in it for the hugs.
Requirement: you have to be willing to do anything for a hug from Gstaff.

Very good and funny.

Your last lines -
Many members don't realise that we work as a team, each of us know what has been sent in the way of PMs and what the replies were. Thus what often seems to be an individual action of a moderator is the result of the group, sometimes including admin and the hive mind.


I have my limits - there is no bloody chance of that from me.

I don't know how one becomes a moderator. But surely being a Korean War Veteran would earn you some points...

I just read the whole thing. Cool story, braw.

I'm glad he broke the silence for us. Maybe now it can be sent to major news outlets, and my husband will finally understand what become of me! I didn't abandon you, honey!

That story made me chuckle, Manuel. Nicely done.


1. Not true.

2. Exactilicious

3.

4. Polite acquaintanceship is okay for a start.

5. I filled in this list entry with candy.

6. When?

1. Check!
2. err...

oh well

1. damnit!
2. Check I think...
3. I don't have the power to do that.
4. I have Rohugh on skype, does that count?
5. Check
6. Not yet.

Also my chances of becoming a mod are rather slim, I'm a Norwegian, I don't think Freddo will tolerate one of my kind among the forums finest.

I actually see Evilfish posting this same response


1. Semi check...?
2. Check...
3. Some but not all. We all matured in the forums, you know!
4. Check... *bad poker face smile @ Rohugh*
5. 42?
6. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXSHNzyqh3M

BootySweat and falchya aren't even close to that, so I don't think it's required.

I don't think that a couple of games and a selection of t-shirts are recompense for all the abuse, bad language and being told to do impossible and illegal things by those members who get upset when we have to deal with them. Not that I am complaining, I love my little parcels of swag that occasionally turn up via UPS.


Well you get a +1 for sure, and we don't have a Brony as a moderator.

Well atleast Hungry Donner's title is somewhat pony'ish.

"MARCUS
I want you to become the protector of Rome after I die. I will
empower you, to one end alone, to give power back to the people
of Rome and end the corruption that has crippled it.
Will you accept this great honour that I have offered?

MAXIMUS
With all my heart, no.

MARCUS
Maximus, that is why it must be you!"

Well in that case...
I don't think I would make a good moderator, I think I would be either too soft or too strict.
And I've never been good at being a good example.

We could make an example out of you, if that'd make you feel any better?

What kind of example? That Norwegians can become moderators despite the fact that there already is a swedish one?
That if you have an awesome avatar, you get free forum ranks? That you get banned for asking too many questions?

Your Avatar is disturbing...

YES!

http://i.imgur.com/XFG7r.png

Apparently they just ask you if you want to be, given if you've met their requirements..

If we don't get a brony as a moderator, someone has to join the herd. Hey, Rohugh, what about you?