What game are -you- playing, hmm?
You become archmage in 4-ish quests. What is your authority? Non existant. What respect do you really get? None. What effect does the most powerful mage in the region have on politics? Zero. Where are the people who would be =asking= for aid? Non existant. Winterhold is a magical place; dragons are magical. Where is the requests for assistance? Non existant. That same pattern applies to the civil war quest structure; about the only difference the end makes is what kind of uniforms guards wear. No change in NPC behavior. No consequences whatsoever for siding with one power and showing your face in a stronghold of the other. This is supposed to be a =civil war=. The bloodiest, most divisive kind of warfare in history. You kill dragons. Doesn't make a difference. You start the main quest. The world does not end if you sit on your butt and do nothing but watch. No cities are destroyed. No one in the gameworld really knows or cares what you do. You can plant you ebony clad tush on a boulder and watch dragons till Sovvengarde freezes over, and Alduin will stay there and eat and not end the world.
As I said. What goes on in your head is irrelevant, because the gameworld doesn't react to it. Building a massive campaign in your imagination is not roleplaying. Its playing lets pretend. If it doesn't happen in the gamespace, it doesn't affect the game whatsoever. And if something happens in the gameworld, and doesn't leave a reaction or consequence on said world, that is the fault of the writers and designers....if for no other reason than not warning the bosses that their decisions will, unlike their gamespace, have consequences that they might not like.
I'm sorry that in order to roleplay, you need the game to hold your hand and tell you that you are roleplaying.
I, do not.
And why exactly would people come to the College of Winterhold for help? The people don't trust the college.
And for what it's worth, there is an entire quest from the College that revolves around rushing into Winterhold and aid it from a magical threat. So yea... if you actually playing the College main quest, your concerns are addressed.
If the world did end for not doing the main quest, people would [censored] about the game putting you on rails and forcing you to do the main quest.
A little gear recognition if you're wearing Imperial gear in Stormcloak territory would be nice, but outside of that, why should the Stormcloaks know you are with the Imperial Legion? That would not be realistic for an NPC to look at you in neutral gear and determine that you are of the opposing faction. It makes absolutely no sense, what so ever.
Same goes for any and every NPC in the land responding to and acknowledging any and every accomplishment you've ever made. How would they know? They wouldn't. It's unrealistic to demand that.
If I encountered you on the street, I would know nothing of what you've accomplished in your life. I don't know if you're a college graduate, a high school drop out, or if you saved a set of triplet infants from a burning house. So why would you expect a random NPC in Markarth to know that you're the new College Arch-Mage in Winterhold? Tamriel doesn't exactly have CNN to spread the news.