Getting straight to the point (playing on master difficulty) i started with a "warrior" and made a "speedrun" until the first dragon kill. I completed the quests around Whiterun.
As i do in every rpg game (call it crazy but it's a habit of mine), i restarted the game to do a "perfect run" until that point, do every single quest and gain money in every way possible.
So i stole everything and everyone in Riverwood, did the same with Whiterun raised my skills a bit, mostly to gain money so that i could buy that house right away (blacksmithing, alchemy etc), did more secondary quests killed some wildlife blablabla and proceeded to do the quests like the one that you collect a bounty from the bandits at Valtheim towers...
I was a higher level than last time but my gear was much better since i was better prepared so i expected it to be easier than last time on the "speed run". It wasn't. It was like all that preparation was punished, instead of rewarded, just because i got a few more levels from secondary skills to craft/buy some items for myself. The Elder scrolls series is a lengendary one, WHY, for the love of god, do you have to take away the most fundamental thing there is in an rpg game? I understand scaling is not as bad as in Oblivion but it's still there and it utterly svcks.
what do you recommend?
On one hand you have the extreme where only your actual real life skill can influence how far you get. (think battletoads, tetris, r-type, contra, etc...)
On the other hand you have the extreme opposite where only your time invested matters. (think WoW, all JRPG's, etc...
Then you would have those in-between games where skill and time invested and luck all matter (Think nethack, binding of isaac, other roguelikes...)
You might like the GTA series. That game has come closest of any game I can think of to providing the difficulty curve, plus the sandbox you are asking for.
I am not exactly sure what you want in a game. either you get a game where you personally gain actual skill, or you get a game where your time invested modifies a stat sheet that says you have gained skill. Only the second one is a rpg in the traditional sense. You seem to want a combination of the two, and I do to, but it has never been done before.
Granted, If somebody ever made an RPG with a fighting mechanic like a true fighter, that would be exactly what you are asking for. But nobody has done that yet. If it ever comes I will join you in being their biggest [censored]. But that sort of thing is not "safe" for developers. Nobody has done it before. So, like Morrowind, it would be an epic, noteworthy, do-or-die move for the developer. People just don't take that sort of risk every day. Eventually, some starving studio with a lot of talent WILL take on the challenge, and succeed, but nobody in a financially stable position will take that risk, despite the fact that you are absolutely correct.
Although, if Skyrim does exceptionally well, that might put Bethesda in the position to go to Zenimax and convince them to bankroll such a gamble. But that is, imho, a longshot.
That is really funny. If you look at my post, you will see a [censored] in there. The word Bethesda chose to censor was the word that means [boy of fans]. lol